This is My Life Now
by lildreamer1112
Summary: Casey brings back her daughter Leanna home to meet her parents. All sorts of secrecy swirl around her 6 year old daughter. A revised the last chapter!
1. Going Home

-1**_Disclaimer: I do not own Life with Derek. I do however own the character Leanna for the purpose of this story! _**

Casey looked over at the seat where her daughter Leanna sat. They were on their way to Casey's childhood home. It was the first time her mother and George would meet their granddaughter. Leanna was already 6 and was always asking questions.

"Mommy, what is Aunt Lizzie like?" Leanna asked looking at her mother with her crystal blue eyes. The little girl had wavy auburn hair and was just dripping with anticipation to meet her grandparents.

Casey smiled at the thought of her sister. "She loves sports. She's smart and nice. You'll love her darling." Leanna nodded her head as if she knew all of this already.

"What about Uncle Edvin?" Leanna had a problem with her w's but Casey was slowly helping her work on it.

"He's sweet. And you love him. He loves to spy on people just like you." Casey said as she laughed. She had fond memories of Edwin spying on her. Leanna seem to think about that for a good minute. Casey saw a smirk play on her mouth which meant she was thinking of trouble.

Leanna's smirk left her face soon after and she asked what her aunt Marti was like. Marti was now eleven but she was still the closest to Leanna's age. "Well, she's very outgoing. She loves art and drawing. She use to love dress up and I'm sure she would play it with you if you ask nicely. Honey you will love all of them!" Casey exclaimed while she took her hand off the steering wheel to mess Leanna's hair up.

Leanna's freckled nose scrunched up while her mom did this because she hated people touching her hair. Casey just laugher and returned her hand to the steering wheel. "What's Uncle Derek like?" Casey shuddered when his name was mention and memories came flying back.

Casey's eyes seem to water, but she choked out what Derek was like. "He's handsome and 22. He loves hockey and he's actually quite smart. But he's a schemer just like you. You two will get along famously." Leanna smiled and went back to looking out the window. The ride continued in silence but of course being six, Leanna broke the silence.

"Do I get to meet my daddy?" Casey could have cried. It was true her daughter had never met her father. Technically she couldn't meet him. Well not really, Casey had just prevented her from meeting him. And it broke her heart when she had to tell her daughter no. Leanna watched other kids in her kindergarten class with all of their dads. She sometimes cried herself to sleep or would tell her mother that she wasn't good enough because she didn't have a dad.

Casey breathed in deeply before speaking. "Lee, sweetie, you know your daddy won't be at your grandparents house. He's in New York working at his business." _Well its not a lie, he is working!_ "Honey you know he wishes he could be with you but its just impossible! One day you will get to meet him and he will love you even more you already love him."

"What's my daddy's name again?" she asked. Her little eyes filling with water.

Casey closed her eyes. "His name is Lucas Meek. He loves you baby, he does. And one day you will be by his side all the time." _That's not true but I'm saving you from pain._

Leanna looked out the window and Casey could hear her crying. It pained her that her own daughter didn't know her father. Don't get Casey wrong, _she_ knew who the father was. It just wasn't the right time for her daughter to meet him, plus the father didn't even know he was a father yet.

"Mommy?" Leanna asked quietly.

"Yes sweetie?" Casey asked kindly while her heart was breaking.

Leanna looked at her mother with her watery eyes. "If you talk to my daddy can you tell him I love him. That I love him very much."

"Yes I will Lee. And I'm sure he would love to hear that." Casey replied as she pulled into her old driveway. Time to face her family.

_**AN: So this is my new story hopefully I get more reviews for this one then I have for the other story! I hope ya like it and remember to R&R!!!! Love you all! LilD**_


	2. Going Back Six Years

-1**Disclaimer: I don't own LWD but I do own Leanna and Lucas Meek for the purpose of this story**

_Casey Remembers Six Years Ago_

_When I found out I was pregnant I sat down and cried. I was only 16. I knew who's baby it was. It could only be one person. I couldn't tell him though. I just didn't have the heart._

_I also didn't have the heart to tell my mom and George either. Their disappointment in their seemingly unperfect daughter I wouldn't be able to handle._

_I was only two months into my pregnancy and no one knew. I had to act fast. I decided to move to the states and live with my father. I called and asked him first. I actually explained to him that I was pregnant because I knew he wouldn't make me feel like crap._

_He promised me that he wouldn't tell my mother. He told me to explain to my mother I was having a hard time in the house and that I would be much better suited at his apartment in New York._

_At first she was hesitant, she didn't want me to leave Canada. Two weeks later she relented and let me move to New York. _

_I settled in and found a boyfriend, Lucas Meek. He was one of the sweetest guys I had ever met. Unfortunately I had to use him for a purpose. I told my mom that he had gotten me pregnant on a drunken night. She didn't know any better and cried over the loss of my innocence._

_I eventually told Lucas I was pregnant and of course he dumped me. I don't blame him._

_Six months after I told my mom I was pregnant I gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl in the world. I named her Leanna Elizabeth MacDonald. My father was helpful but no one could replace my baby's dad._

_I never went home to Canada to see my family. They always wrote me letters or phoned me, asking me to bring my baby back for them to see. _

_But going back to Canada was too hard. My daughter's father lived there and he didn't even realize he was a father!_

_I chose not to go back for six years._

**A/N I wrote this because I thought it was confusing on how Casey could have a 6 year old daughter at 22 and her parents never met her. So I thought I would give you some insight on what happened and how I pulled Lucas Meek out of thin air in the first chapter! Well as always R&R! And make sure to check out my other LWD fic, What Choice is Right?. Much Love LilD**


	3. She Looks Like Someone

_**I just want to thank my terrific reviewers. Hopefully I answered some of your questions in this chapter!**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own LWD but I do own Leanna, Lucas, Jenny, and Melinda for the purpose of this story.**_

As soon as Casey entered the front door, she was bombarded with hugs and kisses. It was as if she hadn't been home in a long time. Well that was true, she hadn't seen her family in six years. All of it her choice. She hadn't want to come home and she hadn't want her family coming to New York.

Seeing her mother's face made her heart bleed. Yes Nora was happy to see her and everyone could tell that. But when Casey looked into her eyes, she could see pain and confusion. _Its all because of me. I caused her this pain and confusion,_ Casey thought.

Lizzie had grown up to be beautiful and Casey had missed it all. She was expecting her tomboy sister. Who she met was what could be called "a plastic". Lizzie had laughed when she saw Casey arching her eyebrow towards her hair color and outfit. It was now blonde with thick dark highlights. She was dressed in a preppy pink polo and a jean mini skirt. Her outfit was more of a Casey outfit. "Don't worry Case. I'm not all girly. I'm still the captain of the soccer team." Lizzie said. Casey frowned knowing that she had still missed out on a major part of her little sister's life.

Casey was next to hug Edwin. He was now taller then her and had his hair shaggy. It reminded her of Derek's hair in high school. His dark eyes, however, still had the mischievous youth look in them. He was dressed to impressed. He _was _a miniature version of Derek. One thing differentiated him from his older brother. "Casey meet my girlfriend Jenny. We've been going out for two years and a half now." Edwin said as he introduced her to Jenny. Jenny was a small girl with brown hair and glasses. She was definitely not a fashionista but Edwin looked at her with love. Edwin had not turned into a playboy like his brother.

Marti had bounced down the stairs and had almost knocked Casey over. Marti turned around in circles allowing Casey to look her over. Her brown hair was now long but her brown eyes were still as big as ever. Her outfit was cute but Casey could still see some of the five year old left in her. Her idea about color days had obviously never passed. She was dressed in all purple. That reminded Casey of the wedding reception with the grape juice and jelly sandwich. Casey smiled at that thought and at the girl who stood in front of her.

George had came forward to pull Casey into a hug. It was true that George and Casey hadn't spent that much time together but George had still thought of Casey as a daughter. It had broken his heart too when she had announced she was pregnant. He had always thought that was a situation that Derek would have gotten himself into, but never his prized stepdaughter. Casey noticed that his hair was beginning to gray, probably from stress. He released her after saying, "Its great to see you Casey."

Then she saw Derek. The person who always tried to torment her in her teenage years. He had written letters during the last six years giving her inspirational words to live by. He had phoned her once or twice while she was gone too. And as she looked at him, she noticed he really never changed. He grew taller yes and his face had matured, but other then that, no. His hair was in the same shaggy look that Edwin had obviously copied. He had on a leather jacket which Casey had always thought to be his armor of some sorts. He was sporting his trademark smirk. Where would Derek be without that smirk?

And next to Derek was a girl. A pretty girl. She was blonde with sky blue eyes. She had to have been at least 5'8" in Casey's mind. She was wearing the normal attire a girl with Derek was accustomed to wearing. She wore a white tank top with a dark red half jacket over the top of it. Her white skirt was way to short and Casey noticed she was overanalyzing the girl. The girl stepped towards Casey and held her hand out to shake and said, "Hi, I'm Melinda. But everyone calls me Mel for short." The girl smiled while Casey just limply shook her hand. She noticed that "Mel" also had a perfect smile.

Leanna knocked her mom out of her stance. "Mommy?" Casey looked down at her beautiful daughter with a smile.

"Mom, George, Lizzie, Edwin, Marti, Derek, Jenny, and Mel," Casey began hinting a bit of meanness when she said Mel. "This is my daughter Leanna." Everyone rushed over to the little girl and Leanna obviously loved every minute of it.

"Honey, she looks just like you," Nora said with a smile as she hugged the little girl. Casey gave her mother a weary smile noting that there was many similarities between her and her daughter. People pointed them out all the time. Of course they never saw any between Leanna and Lucas.

Lizzie hugged the little girl as she told her hi. Casey stood watching the happy family moment. "Case?" Lizzie asked.

Casey looked over at her younger sister. "Yeah Liz?"

"She does look so much like you, but she looks like someone else too. Ya know?" Lizzie questioned. Lizzie's eyebrows were scrunched as if she was trying to place the young girl.

"Yeah she looks like her dad Lucas too." Casey answered as she tried to cover it up. This is what she had feared the whole time. People finding out.

"No, no. That's not it. She looks like someone but I can't put my finger on it." Lizzie said as she shook her head. Casey was glad when Edwin came over and interrupted them.

"She's just adorable. She told me that she can help me spy on people. Can't imagine where she heard that from?" Edwin said as Casey laughed. Edwin's girlfriend did not find it as funny that he used to spy on people and took him outside to talk to him. _ Well isn't he whipped?_ Casey thought as she laughed.

"Mommy!" Leanna exclaimed breaking Casey free from whatever she was starting to think. She looked over to where the six year old stood and saw Derek. Leanna was giggling and laughing . She was trying to break free from Derek's grasp and when she did manage too, Derek chased her down again.

"What Lee?" Casey asked as she smiled. It was cute to see Derek interacting with her daughter. He had always been so good with Marti when the were younger. _I wonder if they still call each other Smarti and Smerek?_

"Help me! He's going to eat me!" screamed the six year old as Derek pretended to devour her. He was having so much fun with her. It was _way_ too cute.

"I already ate you! Nobody can save you now." Derek said in a deep voice. Leanna shrieked and ran towards her mother to hide. Derek scooped her up in arms and pretended to eat her neck. The young girl laughed and everybody couldn't help but laugh with her.

_Maybe its not too late,_ Casey though. _Maybe its not too late._

_**A/N: Hey guys! Hopefully you like this chapter as well as the last two. And please make sure to R&R and I'll make sure to update quickly. Also I love incorporating songs into my fics so I would love it if you guys can give me some suggestions. Well much love, LilD**_


	4. What are you thinking?

-1**_Thank you to all of my wonderful reviewers! You guys make me feel all special! Ha! Anyways a note to 'atruwriter' : No Lizzie never saw Lucas, but I have said many of times that people look like someone & the other person will say a name. But I always say no because I have never seen the person & they look like someone I know. Hopefully that clears it up. Read on!_**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own LWD but if I did there would be two characters called Kirstie and Leanna in it!**_

"She really is beautiful Casey. She looks just like you." Nora told Casey while they watched Leanna run after Edwin. Casey looked at her mother with a half smile.

"Yeah, she is beautiful. I couldn't have asked for a better daughter." Casey replied as she returned her eyes to Leanna. _ I could have asked for that one drunken night to never have happened. I feel guilty saying that, _Casey thought to herself.

"Let's have some tea in the kitchen and talk. We have six years to catch up on! We might as well start while no one is bothering us." Nora said as she walked towards the kitchen. Casey glanced back at her daughter one more time and walked into the kitchen. She sat on one of the barstools and put her chin into her hands.

"So where do we begin mom?" Casey asked. Nora looked at her with sadness. As if Casey should know where to begin already.

"How about at the start. Like why you left in the first place." Casey nodded. Easy enough to ask, but so much harder to answer.

Casey sipped her tea and stared intently at the refrigerator. "I was just having too many problems here. I mean Sam and I were always on the outs. Constantly fighting with Derek was stressing me out. School was no fun. Everyone always made fun of me." _And because I got pregnant while I was living under your roof._

Nora nodded her head as if she understood her reasons. "Yeah, I can see that I suppose. But how did you get pregnant not even a month after you left? You were always a good girl. We always suspected that Derek would become a father."

Casey rolled her eyes. It was typical of their parents to always think the worse of Derek. "I was at my first major party of my new school. I got a little drunk, ok more then a little drunk. Who knew orange juice always got spiked with vodka in New York? Anyways, Lucas was drunk too and one thing led to another. And the final result was Leanna." Casey said matter of factly while her mind took her back to the real party.

"_Whoa Casey, why are you dressed like that?" Emily asked her best friend. Casey was dressed in a baby blue tube top and a jean mini skirt that did not leave much for the imagination. Her hair was in messy style and her make up was heavily applied._

_Casey rolled her eyes at her stick in the mud best friend. "I need to make an impression Em. And I'm going to get what I want." _

_Two hours later, Casey was drunk. She never intended on getting drunk. But then again, she never knew getting drunk could make you feel this free. She had danced with every guy on the hockey team excluding Derek. And she had even kissed most of them._

_But a drunk Casey did not mean a nice Casey. _

_Two day before the party, Sam had broken up with her for a girl named Kirstie. And now at this party Casey found Sam and Kirstie. Not only did she find them, she found them practically emerged as one._

_**We never did that in public**, Casey thought to herself. Casey sauntered her way over to them and pulled Kirstie by her ponytail off of Sam. She then placed herself into Sam's lap and started kissing him feverishly. Kirstie did not waste time retaliating at Casey._

"_You are a selfish bitch, you know that?" Kirstie had screamed at Casey when she ripped her off of Sam. _

"_Excuse me? You are the slut that Sam broke up with me for!" Casey screamed back. She was going to make sure that everyone heard this argument. She also was going to make sure she won her man back._

_Kirstie rolled her eyes at that. "I'm not a slut for one. And maybe if you had put out even once then your damn boyfriend would never have broken up with you." Casey looked down at Sam. He had obviously told this girl that because he couldn't even look her in the eye._

_Casey returned her cold stare back at Kirstie. Why should she take this out on Sam? It wasn't his fault, it was this hussie's fault. "Don't you ever dare say that to me again. Not all relationships are built on sex even if all of yours have been. Is that why you are always by yourself you little bitch? Is that why you have no friends? Is that why people talk about you and write slut after you name on the bathroom stalls? Maybe that's why your name and number are the guy's stall door. I mean it does say, Call for a good time anytime." Casey was holding back all her strength not to hit the girl. **Oh to hell with it, **Casey thought**, I'm punching this little bitch.**_

_Casey lifted her right arm and made her hand into a fist. She began to pull her arm back when she felt a strong hand grab her fist. She looked up at the boy. He shook his head slightly at her and looked at Kirstie and then at Sam. "I'm not going to apologize for this because God knows you both deserve it. But I'm not going to watch her destroy herself or her reputation over some guy who probably doesn't deserve her." he told the couple. "Just stay away from her. Or else."_

"Casey! What are you thinking about?" her mother asked bringing her back to reality. Casey glanced down at her fingernails thinking of something to say.

"About stuff. Nothing important." she replied. _Just the night that changed my life._

_**There is the new chapter. The first flashback of many which will hopefully help you all figure out who the real father is! R&R pretty please! Peace, LilD**_


	5. Dreams & Memories

-1**_I thought I would update a little faster. Hope you like it!!!_**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own LWD but I do own Leanna, Mel, and Jake Thompson for the purpose of this story**_

It was finally time for Casey to be by herself. It was midnight and the rest of her family wanted to sleep. It had been decided that Leanna would take Casey's old room and Casey would take Derek's old room.

She had protested at first. She wanted the comfort of her old room but agreed in the end. Her daughter wanted to sleep in her room and Casey just couldn't tell her no.

When she reached Derek's old room, she was amazed to see that it looked exactly the same. The same posters, the same pictures, and the same bed with the same sheets. She could even smell her dear stepbrother. And on his nightstand was a picture of him and Mel.

"I didn't know they had been going out for that long," Casey said to herself as she placed the picture under the bed. She felt herself frown but she shrugged it off. She changed into her pajamas, a basic tank top and shorts, and climbed into the bed.

She had thought that it would be difficult to get to sleep. However, she fell into a deep sleep almost immediately and had many dreams of the past.

"_Hey Jake! What's going on?" Casey asked Jake Thompson, a player on Derek's hockey team. They were in between classes and Casey had always thought Jake was cute._

_Jake looked up from his locker and smiled at her. His green eyes shimmered. "Nothing Case." The way he said her name sent shivers up and down her spine. She smiled at him like an idiot. "I was just wondering, do you want to go to Sam's party with me tonight?"_

_Casey frowned at the mention of Sam, but took up smiling again when she remember he had just asked her on a date. "Definitely Jake! I would love to go with you. Pick me up at 8?"_

_Jake just nodded at her and left her standing at his locker smiling like an idiot. _

_Later that night, Casey was getting dressed for her date. She had chosen a pink halter top dress and let her hair stay down. She put on minimal makeup and smiled at her reflection. She glanced at the clock and saw it said 7:45. She smiled happily knowing that Jake would be there in fifteen minutes._

_She walked downstairs into the living room and saw Derek popping his collar in the mirror by the front door._ "_Getting ready for one of your bimbos?"_

_Derek smirked at her. "Jealous Casey? I mean if you just dye your hair blonde and maybe hiked you skirt up a few more inches, I might be willing to put you on the waiting list."_

_Casey pretended to gag. "I'd rather be on the 'I Wanna Kill Derek Venturi' waiting list. Besides I'm on Jake's date list." Derek did a double take at Casey. He knew Jake's rep but decided to let Casey learn it on her own._

"_You have fun with that sis. Jake is a gentleman I'm sure. Well I have to go pick up Ashleigh." Derek said as he slammed out the door. Casey shrugged and took a seat on the couch and looked up at the grandfather clock. 7:58. He still had two minutes._

_Casey hummed to herself while she checked her nail polish. She couldn't wait to go out with Jake. She was actually excited about a date in a long time. She looked again at the clock. 8:01. _

"_So he's one minute late. That doesn't mean anything." Casey said reassuringly to herself. She flipped the TV on to pass time more quickly. She found a rerun of her favorite soap, Passions, and began to watch it._

_Time passed, but Jake never showed. Casey looked at the clock again. It was now 9:27. He wasn't showing and Casey knew it. Tears began to fall from her eyes. Why had she been so naïve to believe that a hot guy would want to date her?_

_Casey cried for a good amount of time before she fell asleep. Hours later, she heard the door open and shut. She opened her eyes slightly and saw Derek. He walked over and plopped into his favorite recliner. Casey saw him rubbing his right hand._

"_What's wrong with your fist Derek?" Casey asked sleepily. Derek looked at her not knowing that she was awake._

"_Oh nothing. Me and some of the guys got into a wrestling match. You know typical guy stuff." he answered. _

_She nodded her head and fell back to sleep. _

_It was three days later and Em rushed up to her. "Did you hear Case?" the curly haired girl asked excitedly._

"_No what?" Casey asked not interested a bit. Emily always had gossip to share._

"_Derek hit Jake Thompson the other night at a party. Rumor has it that Jake's date, Britney Stelson, was the reason. Not really sure why though. But Jake had a black eye and I guess he's in a lot of pain." Emily said in a rush._

_Casey stared back at her in astonishment. Derek had hurt his hand by punching Jake, not by wrestling. But was it for Casey? Probably not, like everyone said, it probably had to do with Britney Stelson._

_But a tiny part of her hoped it was for her._

Casey smiled in her sleep. She flipped in the bed and continued dreaming.

"_Hey Casey! What are you doing tonight?" Sam asked her. They had been going out for a couple of months now._

_Casey looked up at him and smile. "Hopefully hanging out with the best boyfriend in the world!" Sam smiled and nodded his head yes._

"_I thought we could grab dinner and go back to my house and watch a movie. I mean if you would like to do that." he replied. _

_Casey nodded her head and smiled brightly at him. "Can we watch the Notebook? Its like my favorite movie." Sam smiled back at her and kissed her lightly._

"_Of course, just bring it with you." he said as he walked away. Casey leaned herself against the wall and smiled to herself. She had been smiling often since she started dating Sam. She knew that he loved her and that just made her so happy._

_She had gone throughout the rest of the day at school in a daze, not even paying attention to any of her classes. When she finally reached her house, she raced to her room to find the perfect date outfit. She chose a pretty turquoise low cut shirt and a black micro mini. She put her hair up in a tight ponytail and looked at herself in the mirror. She was satisfied with the outcome and sat on her bed._

_She finally heard the doorbell ring and Derek's loud voice saying hey to Sam. And then "Klutz, Sam is here for you!" Derek's voice boomed through the house._

_Casey hopped off the bed and came down the stairs. "Thanks Der, but just to inform you, my name is Casey." she told Derek with a death stare. She then turned to Sam and brightly said, "Hi Sam! Aww you got me flowers. They are really pretty." She took the flowers from him and put them in water. Then they left for the night._

_They ate dinner at a very swanky Italian restaurant and they were on their way to his house. When they reached the house, Casey noticed that the windows were all black._

_Sam noticed it and told her, "My parents are out of town. We have the whole house to ourselves." Casey just nodded and followed him into the house. He took her down to the basement and stuck the DVD in. _

_They sat on the couch with Casey's head resting on his shoulder and his arm around her. After an hour of the movie, she noticed him getting restless. His arm kept moving and he kept moving his body. She ignored it._

_All of sudden Sam pushed her back on the couch. He had passion in his eyes as he began to kiss her. She didn't like it and tried to push him off. She resisted. It was then when she was raped by the love of her life. Her boyfriend Sam. _

_She cried on the car ride home. She cried in her bedroom. She blamed herself. She could never come to terms with it. Five days later Sam broke up with her._

Casey cried in her sleep and let out little screams as the rape replayed in her mind. Her face had a look of horror upon it. She kicked in her sleep and turned to sleep on her side.

The only thing that brought relief to her was the image of Derek.

_**A/N: There it is! The new chapter. The next chapter should get some interaction with Derek and the infamous Sam. Please R&R! I've decided not to update until I get 25 reviews! Show the love! Much Love LilD**_


	6. Mall Trip

-1**_Thanks to my reviewers!! You guys are awesome. And just to answer some questions, all the flashbacks are going to be out of order. And when someone is drunk, your feelings get mixed up sometimes that's why Casey threw herself at Sam. And the question is still, who is the father? Well read on!_**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek**_

When Casey awoke the next day, she was amazed by the time. It was 12:30. As she continued to lay in the bed she realized the house was extremely quiet. Too quiet for a house five lived in and two were visiting. She quickly got up and put her slippers on and left Derek's room for the kitchen.

She saw a note on the counter when she reached the kitchen. It was from her mother:

_Hey Honey! We didn't want to wake you, but since it is a Saturday, we decided to take everyone to the zoo. I just didn't have the heart to wake you up. Don't worry about anything, just take a day to relax. We should be home around 7. Oh by the way, Derek is coming to get his laundry. The boy moves out but he still has me do his laundry! Love ya Casey! Love, Mom._

"I wanted to be there for Leanna's first time at the zoo." Casey mumbled as she reached for the milk. She sat at the island quietly drinking her cup of milk thinking about what she could do for a whole day by herself.

"I guess I could go take a shower," Casey said to herself as she placed her cup in the sink. She trudged her way back up the stairs to grab an outfit from her bag. She chose a DKNY polo and a pair of jeans. Simple and basic, but if she had to go somewhere she wouldn't look completely bad. She quickly found the towels and took her shower.

Casey took a 45 minute shower relishing in the fact that this was her first long shower in years. It relaxed her as she got out and dried off. She quickly got dressed and did her make up. She threw her hair in a ponytail and threw the dirty towels in the hamper she had bought years ago. As she reached the stairs she heard a man's voice.

"Oh by the way, Derek is coming to get his laundry. The boy moves out but he still has me do his laundry. Yeah I do, I don't need to turn my whites pink again." the voice said as it traveled up to Casey. It was the one and only Derek. She slowly took the stairs and her heart sped up for no apparent reason. She finally reached the bottom and entered the kitchen where she saw her stepbrother looking for his clothes.

"I think your clothes are in the hamper by the back door," Casey said. She knew full well that they were, she had stolen a hoodie from the hamper for later.

Derek looked up from the pile of clothes he was searching and smirked at her. "Predictable Casey. She always knows where everything is. Even after six years, she still knows where my stuff is."

"Yeah I'm predictable Derek." Casey replied nastily as she stepped around him and grabbed the hamper. "There. We wouldn't want you to hurt yourself looking."

"You haven't seen me in six years and this is the way you treat your beloved stepbrother? Casey, Casey, Casey. I would have expected so much more maturity out of you." Derek retorted with a smile playing at his lips. Anyone could have been able to tell just looking at him, that he had missed her a lot. His family knew first hand.

"_I don't get why you let her leave. I mean really, I could have just been nicer." Derek yelled at his dad and Nora. The two were taken aback by this emotion. They had thought that Derek would have been just fine with this. _

"_Derek I thou.." George started to say but was cut off by "Forget it" and Derek stomping up the stairs and slamming his door._

_When he had gotten to his room, he had sat down on his floor and cried. He was not prone to crying, but he could not hold it in. He threw his ipod at the wall and it broke into pieces. "Why would you leave not even after a week of happiness? Why?" Derek yelled at that invisible Casey in front of him. "I will never forgive you. Never."_

Casey smiled at him and then sweetly said, "Oh Derek I've missed you so much!" Derek's eyes grew as big as saucers and Casey began to laugh. "I'm just messing with you Der."

"Yeah I know, but it was out of nowhere." he said beginning to laugh.

Casey continued to laugh. "So what are you doing today? Making out with random bimbos you pick up from the street? Or playing hockey with your dumbass friends?"

Derek raised his eyebrow at her. "First, I have had a girlfriend for four years. She was the last bimbo I picked up." With that Casey's laugh got louder and Derek smiled. "Second, you have dated most of my dumbass hockey friends if I recall correctly." Casey's laugh suddenly stopped and her eyes grew dark. _Shit, I should never have said that_. "Anyways, I'm going to the mall. I have to buy something for Marti for her birthday. What are you doing?"

Casey smacked herself on her forehead. She had forgotten all about Marti's birthday. "Well I guess I'm going shopping too since I forgot about her birthday. Guess I'll see you at the mall?" she asked secretly hoping that she would indeed run into him.

"Well since you are home alone and I have no one to accompany me to the mall, why don't you just come with me? Spend a day with you dearly beloved brother?" he said with a puppy dog look. Casey began to laugh again and he smiled some more. _I've missed her laugh._

"You're my _step_ brother. And yes I'll go with you since I really have no other choice." she said jokingly. Derek smirked as he grabbed his hamper as he thought, _this is going to be one fun day._ Casey grabbed her jacket and followed him out the door.

"Wow Derek! Your not driving a beat up Grand Prix anymore!" she exclaimed when she saw his car. It was a red Mitsubishi Gallant. She had to admit it beat her Chevy Cobalt.

Derek glanced over at her and nodded. "Yeah I thought I was entitled to a new car. Plus red always attracts the ladies." Casey rolled her eyes at him as she opened her door. He started the car and pulled out of the driveway.

In a small area, the two felt uncomfortable. They both kept looking out the window careful to never catch the other one's eye. "It's too quiet in here," Casey whined finally after ten minutes of pure silence. Derek looked at the radio and Casey caught the drift. She turned the radio on and found nothing good. So she grabbed one of Derek's cds and plopped it in.

She continued to flip through songs until she landed on the last song. She gasped and looked at Derek. They had always considered it somewhat their song. She had figured he would never have listened to it again after she left. Derek said nothing but kept looking intently at the road ahead. The song played on while Casey and Derek's mind took them back to the day they made it their song.

"_Casey turn down that country crap!" Derek yelled at the closed door. Casey had been insanely playing country music for the last half hour. Derek pounded his fist on her door and still got no response. The song came to an end and he breathed a sigh of relief. His sigh of relief quickly ended when another song started up._

"_CASEY TURN DOWN TH.." he began to yell until he realized that it was Casey singing this time. He knew the song. Nora always played it. It was called 'She's in Love With the Boy' and he noticed that Casey changed some of the words._

"_Casey's sittin' on her old front porch, Watchin' the __chickens__ peck the ground. There ain't a whole lot goin' on tonight In this one-horse town. Over yonder, comin' up the road, In a beat-up __Chevy truck__ Her boyfriend Derek, he's layin' on the horn, Splashin' through the mud and the muck," Casey sang beautifully. Derek's mind churned when he realized that he had just said his name. It was probably some other Derek like Derek Winchester. _

_Derek just sank down by the door and continued to listen to Casey sing. _

"_Her daddy says He ain't worth a lick When it comes to brains He got the short end of the stick But Casey's young And, man, she just don't care She'd follow Derek anywhere She's in love with the boy She's in love with the boy She's in love with the boy And even if they have to run away She's gonna __marry__ that boy someday," sang her beautiful voice. For the first time in Derek's life, he liked a country song. And knew he would always like this song. Casey's version._

"_Casey and Derek at the drive-in movie Parked in the very last row They're too busy holdin' on to one another To even care about the show Later on, outside the Tastee Freeze Derek slips somethin' on her hand He says, my high school ring will have to do 'Til I can buy a __wedding band__," she sang louder while Derek smiled. He was going to ask her to the movies. He couldn't let her know he heard her sing._

_True to his promise he asked her to the movies two days later._

The song continued to pump through the radio with both Derek and Casey silently singing along.

Her daddy says

He ain't worth a lick

When it comes to brains

He got the short end of the stick

But Katie's young

And, man, she just don't care

She'd follow Tommy anywhere

She's in love with the boy

She's in love with the boy

She's in love with the boy

And even if they have to run away

She's gonna marry that boy someday

Her daddy's waitin' up 'til half past twelve

When they come sneakin' up the walk

He says, young lady, get on up to your room

While me and junior have a talk

Mama breaks in, says, don't lose your temper

It wasn't very long ago

When you yourself was just a hayseed plow boy

Who didn't have a row to hoe

My daddy said

You wasn't worth a lick

When it came to brains

You got the short end of the stick

But he was wrong

And, honey, you are, too

Katie looks at Tommy

Like I still look at you

She's in love with the boy

She's in love with the boy

She's in love with the boy

What's meant to be will always find a way

She's in love with the boy

She's in love with the boy

She's in love with the boy

What's meant to be will always find a way

She's gonna marry that boy someday

She's in love with the boy

Casey turned to turn the radio off at the end of the song, but Derek pulled into the mall's parking lot. Casey gazed upon the building making sure not to look at Derek with tears in her eyes.

"We're here at the lovely mall. Let's make this quick, I have to pick up Mel in two hours." Derek said kind of snidely.

Casey wiped at her eyes and shortly stated, "Yes, lets make this fast."

However both of their requests were denied. The mall was jam packed. The lines in all of the store were outrageously long for some reason and Casey was having a hard time picking something out for Marti. Derek had quickly chosen a heart necklace for her and had it inscribed which made Casey smile.

Now Derek followed Casey around from store to store. _He could help me out here. But that would just be too gentlemanly for him, _she though to herself. She entered American Eagle and spotted a baby blue polo. "How about this?" she asked him as she held it up.

Derek shook his head no. "She likes the colors purple and pink. Maybe if you got her a polo in one of those colors, then yes." Casey searched the racks and only found one pink sweater that looked acceptable for Marti. Of course that sweater was fifty dollars.

"I don't know Derek. I think we should go look somewhere else. I don't think I can afford fifty dollars right now." Casey mumbled. Derek saw defeat in her eyes and hated it.

Derek grabbed the sweater from her hands and proceeded to the checkout. "I'm not going to another store. I can't take looking at clothes anymore Case. I'll pay for it. Consider a present from me to you to Marti." Casey looked at him with some kind of sadness that he couldn't identify.

"Casey MacDonald is that you?" a voice asked behind her. She turned to see a blonde hair boy staring back at her. It was Sam, her exboyfriend.

She took a step back towards Derek. "Yeah its me. I'm back from New York for a bit." she replied stiffly. Derek turned and saw Sam. Derek knew what had happened between Casey and Sam but neither one of them knew. Derek glared at him, but Sam didn't get the clue.

"Hey man. I haven't seen you in forever." Sam greeted him. Derek just turned back to the cashier to pay for the sweater. Sam shrugged his shoulders and returned his focus back to Casey. "Casey, we really need to talk. In six years a lot of things have changed. Maybe I can take you out to dinner tonight?" he asked sounding unsure of himself.

Derek stiffened as he turned back towards Sam. He saw Casey nodding her head as if to say yes to going out with Sam. "I'm sorry Sam, family plans tonight. Big surprise for Casey and _her six year old daughter_." He emphasized the six year old daughter as if to get it through Sam's skull. Sam glanced at Casey with his eyebrows up.

"I didn't know, sorry Sam." Casey replied quietly. She didn't want to tell Sam yes or no. She was secretly thankful that Derek had taken care of the problem.

"That's ok, Case. I'll call you tonight. Maybe we can reschedule for another night." Sam replied. "It was nice to see you though. You too Derek." Sam gave Casey a hug but she stayed as stiff as a board. He then went to shake hands with Derek, but Derek just looked away. He shrugged and just walked off.

"Thanks Derek. You wouldn't understand why I didn't want to go out with him, but thanks so much." Casey said seriously.

Derek just looked at her with understanding eyes. "Actually Case, I do know why."

Casey just stared at him with her mouth wide opened. _Then why did you do what you did?_

_**A/N: Alright there is the new chapter! R&R pretty please. I think I'm going to wait until I have 35 reviews til I update again. But until then, Much Love LilD**_


	7. The Fight

-1**_Hey guys!!! First off I want to say thank you for all of my wonderful reviews! You guys mean the world to me! So this chapter is in Derek and Casey's Point of Views. More emotional I guess that way. And something very important comes out of this chapter. Its kinda short, but after I get this stuff out of the way and work on the plot and outcome more! So read on!_**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own LWD, just the people you don't know.**_

_**Casey's POV**_

I stared at him. My mouth hung open wide. I must have looked like an idiot to passersby. But the guilt in Derek's eyes spoke everything. He had known and it made my heart break.

"Listen Case, let's go home and talk about this. I mean, lets not make a scene." Derek said quietly and soothingly I must admit. But why in the hell at this moment would I care about making a scene?

"How could you?" I asked quietly. He just looked at me with pain. How dare he feel pain when its me who is breaking. "How in the _hell_ could you?" I said a little more forceful.

He jumped a little. I guess he was taken back by my force but still he didn't answer. To tell you the truth, except for the pain and guilt in his eyes, he was emotionless. How dare he be emotionless! "TELL ME DEREK HOW YOU COULD DO THAT?" I screamed. People were staring but I was used to that. Nothing really phased me anymore.

"I never meant to hurt you," Derek stated quietly as he looked at his feet. "I thought you would tell me on your own." I rolled my eyes at this, mostly so I wouldn't start crying.

"You thought I would tell you on my own? Then why did you let it happen?" I spat out at him. Maybe I shouldn't be telling my private business with all these people around.

Derek's defensive walls then came up fairly quickly. "Hey I had no clue that in two months you were going to run off to New York and get pregnant by some guy. You just took off and never came back. I thought you had put it in the past, so I thought why shouldn't I?" he spit out with fire. He was riled up now. He was getting pissed.

His pissed off mood couldn't even compare to my rage. "You're a piece of shit right now to me Derek. I trusted you when you came back to protect my reputation with Sam and Kirstie. TRUST DEREK! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT TRUST MEANS?" I yelled louder then I knew humanly possible.

"I protected you that night! I saved you from public humiliation which you don't do a damn good job of yourself." he said evenly. His hair had fallen in his eyes and I wanted to reach out and push it away. But I resisted my urge.

"I can protect myself. I've done it for six years without your help or anyone else's." I screeched. Why do people always think I need protection? I can do things on my own.

Derek held his hands up in jest which just added fuel to the fire. "You can protect yourself? You did it for six years? YOU GOT YOURSELF PREGNANT AT 16 CASEY!" he threw in my face. He had a point. No wait he didn't. I got pregnant while still living in Canada.

"Derek that's not even the problem at hand." I said shaking a little bit. I was riled up.

Derek looked me square in the eye. "Then exactly what is the problem Case? I mean you never tell me a fucking thing!"

"Um, well," I stuttered, I didn't really want to talk about this around other people. "Never mind Derek. Go back to you perfect little life. And I'm going back to my perfect little life in New York with my beautiful daughter." I chose not to go into it. I chose to walk away again. I turned and started to walk.

_**Derek's POV**_

She turned again to walk out of my life again. AGAIN! She always does it. Its like she had no courage anymore. If she doesn't like the situation, she runs.

I looked around at the people staring and back at the retreating form of Casey. Should I chase after her? Or just let her leave again? No, she's not leaving this time without an explanation of _everything_.

I ran fast to catch up with her. God she can walk fast now. Well she does have a lot of practice of walking away. Without saying goodbye.

I caught up with her and pulled her to the secluded part of the mall by the side exit. Of course she kicked me in my leg and elbowed me. And I'm sure she even tried to bite me.

"I don't care what you do to cause me bodily injury, just tell me why!" I demanded. I deserved answers. And I deserved them now.

"Why what Derek? WHY WHAT?" she screamed through her tears. Her body was shaking bad. I wanted to hold her and tell her it would be alright, but I couldn't.

"Why did you leave Casey? Why are you walking away now? I've never known you to walk away!" I said as nicely as I could. I didn't want to scare her away. I wanted my answers.

Casey looked at me with her tearstained face. God her face killed me. "You already know my reasons why I left Derek. I told you before I left. I told you on the phone and in the letters. What more can I tell you?" she asked me. What more can you tell me? How about the truth.

"The truth," I said simply while holding her so she could look me straight in my eye. I noticed something in her. Fear. Something the old Casey MacDonald would never have had. I didn't know whether she was remembering her night with Sam or maybe when she found out when she was pregnant. Or maybe she feared me?

"That is the truth." she mumbled. I knew it wasn't. No I was not going to make this easy. I wanted my answers as much as it may hurt her.

"Its not the truth and I know it just as well as you know it. Casey, its Derek. Remember me? Remember the good times we had before you left? Before you left me all alone wondering." I said it kind of rudely. I mean I was still mad about her just up and leaving me. I had to readjust and it took me a _long_ time.

Casey slowly nodded as if to understand that maybe she could trust me. Even if it was just a little. I loosened my grip on her and she slumped against a wall. "Yeah Derek, the good times." Her eyes flashed and I could tell she was getting mad again. "The good times?! Would that include what happened after the party Derek? Would that include you doing that KNOWING FULL WELL WHAT SAM DID TO ME?" she screamed loudly.

I looked at her. Yes that was a bad judgment call on my part, but hey I had had alcohol that night too. "First off, we were both drunk and not knowing what we were doing. Second, you came on to me. And last, it started a wonderful relationship right up till the point when you left." I said in a level tone.

She blinked her eyes at me. "I didn't like Kirstie calling me a prude. So I did something about it. It was the last time I did something like that."

I shook my head at that. "No Casey, you went to New York and got pregnant by some guy you hardly knew! You know how much that hurt me?"

_**Casey's POV**_

I could see that it had hurt him hearing about Luke. Then he said something dreadful. "I loved you Casey." He _loved_ me. As in past tense. As in he loves me no more. As in he loves Mel.

"I still love you," I mumbled under my breath. I collapsed to the floor. I couldn't believe that my whole reason for the trip back to Canada had been ruined.

Derek sat down across from me with his knees bent to his chest looking at me. "I can't believe that there was much love in what you did." That sentence would probably always haunt me.

I blamed him for hurting me when I had been hurting him this whole time. Probably more then I could ever imagine. I couldn't tell him all my reasons for moving to New York and why I never wanted to come back.

"I'm sorry," I said as if maybe that could fix some of the damage. Ha like that could fix any of it. I'm a moron.

"Sorry just doesn't cut it anymore. Let's go, I have to go pick up Mel for dinner." he said as he got up and grabbed the bags. I got up slowly watching him walk away while my heart broke into a million pieces. That must have been what it felt like for him. His retreating form felt even more distant than ever.

"She loves you Derek," I said and he gave me no indication that he heard. I followed quietly secretly wanting to run in the opposite direction. Forever.

_**Derek's POV**_

_Who loves me?_

_**A/N: I know it seems a little rushed but that's how it happened! So R&R pretty please with a cherry on top! Much Love LilD**_


	8. A Night Not Easily Forgotten

-1**_SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG FOR ME TO UPDATE!!!! I was just so busy! Hope you enjoy_**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own LWD!**_

Casey collapsed on her bed for the night. It had been a long day and night. First Derek and her had gotten into a very public fight in the mall. Then came dinner for Marti. This could be considered worse then the mall fight in more ways then one.

Her mind traveled back to the dinner as if to torture herself even more.

"_Casey are you ready for the dinner yet?" her mom yelled up the stairs. Casey looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy and she couldn't even make a fake smile. Her outfit was a red halter dress with red strappy shoes that Leanna had called 'bootiful'. Her hair was up in a messy up do. She looked perfect but didn't feel perfect._

"_Comin'," she said as she walked in to her old bedroom to grab a necklace she had left there six years ago._

_Ten minutes later Casey had finally reached the living room. Everyone gave her a glare for taking so long except for Lee. Then they placed their attention back on Lee who was twirling around showing her new outfit off that Lizzie had bought her. It was cute, Casey had to admit. It was a pink tank top with a furry white shrug and pink plaid skirt. Lee loved it._

"_Alright guys, we have to meet Derek and Mel there." George announced. Casey took a sharp breath hoping no one noticed her uneasy feelings._

"_Oh Casey?" her mom asked._

"_What?" Casey replied. Everyone had a look on their faces. Kind of like We know something that you don't look._

"_You have a date. Sam called while you were taking a shower so I invited him. I hope you don't mind. I figured George and I could take Marti, Edwin, and Lizzie in the van & Leanna and you could ride with Sam." her mom stated._

_Casey stared at the floor. She was going on a date with Sam. Why did her mom have to interfere like that? The doorbell rang and everyone knew who it was. Lizzie opened it and greeted Sam along with everyone else. Casey looked up at him and saw him. He looked nice in his polo and he was smiling. He did look cute._

"_Hi Sam," Casey said politely._

"_Hey," Sam said back with a smile. He was obviously happy unlike Casey._

"_Alright everyone in the cars! We have to be there on time." Nora said in a hurry. Everyone rushed to their designated cars except for Casey._

"_Look mommy! He has a pretty silver car!" Leanna said excitedly. Sam smiled at her and the little girl grinned. Casey looked at the two and smiled. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad showing up with a date._

_The ride there had been uneventful except for Leanna singing random songs which also included 'Don't You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me?'. Casey had just shrugged, at least her kid was up to date with popular music._

_They arrived at the restaurant after Nora and George. They spotted the five some and waved at them. The group combined and walked into the restaurant. It was very pretty and well decorated. It was called LaVorci's House. Marti smiled happily as they arrived at their table. Derek had saved her seat next to him._

"_Dad, Nora," Derek began to greet the group. His eyes suddenly flashed at Sam and back at Casey. It looked as if he thought his eyes had deceived him. He shook himself and resumed his greeting. "Lizzie, Edwin, LeeLee, Casey, and princess Marti." Casey's name had come out stiffly and everyone seem to notice._

_Mel took interest in Sam right from the get go. She shook his hand and made sure Casey and him were seated next to her. Talk continued all around Casey. She couldn't get herself involved in any of the conversations. The waitress came to take their drink orders. She ordered water while everyone else drank alcohol or pop. She even allowed Lee to get Orange Soda._

"_Isn't it great to have Sam here at dinner?" Nora asked innocently. Casey snapped her head back to the attention of the conversation._

"_Its nice to be involved again Mrs. Venturi," Sam said graciously. He put his arm around Casey and she stiffened immediately. Derek noticed but didn't come to her rescue again._

"_It really is nice to meet you Sam!" Mel exclaimed. Her interest just kept escalating as she talked to him more and more. Derek noticed but put his attention on Leanna. He always had special place in his heart for kids._

"_So LeeLee how was the zoo?" he asked the six year old who was coloring with the crayons. Her blue eyes looked at him widely. She definitely had Casey's eyes._

_LeeLee looked as if was contemplating on what word to use. Her mouth scrunched up and she tapped her crayon. **I tap my pen when I think**, Derek thought and laughed a little to himself. "It was fun! I saw lotsa animals even though mommy said I can never have an animal." Her little mouth went into a frown and her eyes questioned him._

"_You never know, maybe your Uncle Derek will get you a dog." he winked at her and her smile broadened. _

_**Wow she has a Sam smile**, Derek thought to himself. It's was big and always seemed plastered on her face. Derek shook the thought as Casey interrupted his and Lee's conversation. "No Uncle Derek won't be getting you a dog. I don't like animals and we can't have them in my apartment complex anyways. So please mind your own business." she told Derek._

"_Casey's got a point man." Sam said to back her up. She gave him a half smile. Bringing Sam might not have been the worse thing. At least he backed her up. Derek just rolled his eyes._

_He looked over at Leanna who's started to pout. **Her pout definitely looks a lot like Casey's**, he thought. "Well, we'll get you a dog and keep him at my house," he told the little girl who seemed thrilled. The waitress brought them their drinks and began to take their orders._

"_I want Chicken Alfredo," Marti said as she ordered first since she was the birthday girl. The waitress nodded and looked at Nora and George. Everyone had given their orders but Casey, Derek, and Leanna._

"_I want the Three Meat Ravioli please," Casey said politely to the waitress who looked a lot like a girl named Britney. She glanced at Derek who looked like he was enthralled by his menu._

"_And you sir?" the waitress asked politely. Casey could tell she was get exasperated by the group especially him._

"_Um, I would like, the um," he stuttered. He wasn't a big fan of Italian unless it was Mac & Cheese. "I guess I would like the Alfredo but without the green herby stuff." he said as he wrinkled his nose. Casey looked embarrassed by his rudeness. _

"_And what would the child like to eat?" the waitress asked as she rolled her eyes._

"_I want a cheeseburger," Leanna asked while Casey choked on her water. The little girl looked at her mom and then back at the waitress._

"_I'm sorry, we don't have cheeseburgers here." the waitress said as kindly as she could. Leanna looked cranky and stared at the waitress._

"_I **want** a cheeseburger," she said a little more loudly. The whole family looked at her._

_Casey leaned over to her and pointed at the pictures on the menu. "Honey they have noodles and pasta here. You have to get that."_

"_**I don't want that!**" the little girl said with force. Derek looked over at her. That attitude seemed oddly familiar to him. "I want a cheeseburger."_

_Derek scanned the menu quickly while the waitress tried to explain to the six year old that they didn't have cheeseburgers. "Hey LeeLee, how about you get the Cheese and Meat Ravioli? It's kinda like a cheeseburger but instead of being on a bun, its in noodles." he explained to her. The little girl seem to go over this in her mind._

"_I want that!" she exclaimed at the waitress as Casey let out her breath. She couldn't believe that Derek had been able to stop Leanna from having a temper tantrum. No one had ever accomplished that, not even Casey._

_Conversation resumed and Casey just looked at everyone talking. Casey was once again brought back to reality with an announcement by her daughter._

"_Mommy, I want Derek to be my daddy!" Casey choked on her own spit while she stared at her daughter. Why would she say that? Why!?_

"_Honey, he's your uncle." Casey said weakly. It was the only thing that she could think of. Derek looked at her and back at Leanna. The waitress brought the food which Casey thought would make her daughter forget all about her outburst. But no, her six year old was headstrong._

"_Why can't he be my daddy?" she whined. Casey hated it when she whined. Derek thought she sounded a lot like Casey when she whined._

"_I already told you. He's your uncle." she said between bites. Derek was obviously finding this very funny._

"_Oh LeeLee, you have the best uncle in the world! We wouldn't want to complicate things by making me have to ground you and stuff." Derek said with a smirk. A smirk that Leanna played right back at him._

"_But then you could come to New York with us!" Her smirk grew bigger and Derek was at lost for words._

"_That's enough Leanna. Eat!" Casey said hoping it would end what she felt was a very embarrassing conversation. Her mom smiled at her and George nodded his head._

_Dinner was ate in silence except for the casual snippets. Desert came and the earlier dinner conversation seemed forgotten. Until Leanna asked yet another question. Why did she have to raise her daughter to be so questioning and straight forth?_

"_Mommy?" she asked again. Casey looked at her while she shoved a piece of chocolate cake in her mouth. _

"_What?" she returned while she herself took a bite of angel cake. _

"_Did you tell my daddy yet that I love him?" Casey choked on her piece of cake while Derek spit his back on his plate._

_What was Casey suppose to do? Break her daughter's heart and lie? Or tell the truth and risk the person finding out? Well she could tell and then have Sam drive them home right?_

_Casey glanced at Derek who seemed to be staring at her. She could feel everyone's eyes burning into her. She looked at Sam, who seemed interested. And then she looked at her innocent daughter. Casey slowly began to nod her head. "Yes I told him." she told her in a choked voice._

_Leanna's eyes filled with tears at the knowledge that she didn't get to say it to him. "What did he say?" she asked. Casey didn't know what to say. He hadn't said anything back. She doubted that he had even heard._

"_He said he loved you back," Derek replied. Casey looked at him in a startled look and then excused herself to the bathroom. She couldn't stand being at the table anymore. She raced to the bathroom._

_When she entered it she stopped at the sink and looked into the mirror. "What have I done now?" she asked her reflection. She stayed in the bathroom for a good ten minutes before reemerging. She ran straight into Derek._

"_Why didn't you tell me?" he asked quietly as not to disturb the patrons of the restaurant._

_Casey looked at him. She could tell she couldn't lie her way out of this. "I didn't want you to know. And I don't want Lee to know." she said in a barely audible voice. Tears gripping at her eyes but she bit her lip hard._

"_I deserved to know and so does everyone. I hate you. I think you're a selfish bitch to lie to me and to everyone else. I think it was selfish to take off to New York and saying it was some random guys kid. You took my own daughter away from that I didn't even know I had. You could have told me. No you should have told me. I have missed six years Casey! Six years!" he said into her ear. His voice made her heart break._

"_I was not being selfish. I saved you from what you would have became if I had stayed here. I don't want her to know. Don't tell her! I'm begging you. I understand your upset about the six years but really you don't have to have anything to do with her. Your name is not even on her birth certificate." As soon as she said it she realized how cruel that must have sounded._

_Derek looked at her with fire in his eyes and pushed her into the unoccupied girls room. "I didn't get a choice to sign her birth certificate! How is that not selfish? And how can you tell me not to have anything to do with my kid? Is that what you think of me?"_

_Casey looked at the wall. Her eyes burning with the tears that she refused to let fall. "No, that's not what I think of you. But she thinks her dads name is Lucas and this will only confuse her. Yes she's sad she doesn't have a dad, but Derek she's fine. Just the two of us is working out the best. And I'm not being selfish, I'm being reasonable."_

_Derek turned and punched the wall. He dented it but didn't break it. Casey gasped at his anger. "Casey, she's my kid! I have the right to tell her and who ever I please that she is mine. She's so beautiful, smart, stubborn, headstrong, and so much more. Mel would make a great step mom to her. And I'm sure Sam will make a great step dad." he said snidely. _

_His words made Casey furious. "Yes she is all those things. And Sam will not be her step dad. I didn't even invite him to come tonight! My mom did! And it will be a cold day in hell before that wench in there becomes my daughters step mother. And as far as everyone else is concerned, Leanna is not your kid Derek!" Casey screamed. Derek put his aching hand over her mouth to silence her but she bit down hard breaking skin._

"_God damn it Casey!" he yelped in pain. Casey took a step back and looked into the mirror. Her reflection looked like her. But in her mind she knew she had been selfish. She had changed. "What do you have against Mel anyways Casey? You're the one who ran away remember?"_

"_I don't know," Casey whispered while inside she knew. Her heart was broken and there was no way to fix it._

"_Whatever Case. I don't even care anymore. But mark my words. I will be a part of Leanna's life." he said as he left the restroom._

_Casey finally returned to the table after what seemed forever and noticed Derek and Mel were gone. Her family looked at her in a questioning way but just hugged her goodbye and said they would see her at home. Her mom picked Leanna up and said they would take her home. Casey looked over at Sam who seem bewildered by the whole thing. But none the less, held her jacket up for her. She smiled at him while tears were still fighting at the corners of her eyes to come flying._

_He helped her into his car and revved the engine up. He pulled into the street and began to drive. Casey kept her focus on the streets and lights. But Sam had no plans of this car ride being quiet._

"_So Casey, what is the whole story about Leanna?" he asked point blank. Casey looked at him but he kept his eyes on the road._

"_I got pregnant when I moved to New York. The guy wanted nothing to do with her, so I'm raising her on my own." she said tightly. Why should she tell Sam?_

_Sam glanced over at her and noticed her blue eyes rimmed with tears wanting to fall freely. "Casey I know that I did something horrible to you but please forget about that right now. I know that there is more to this story and I know you want to cry. Cry Casey, it will help you feel better."_

"_Sam, you know nothing about what is going on with me. You never did. That's why I was always the girl who cried break up." she said icily._

"_Casey I do know stuff and I have always known stuff. Even back then. Case, everyone knew you and Derek had something special. I was surprised when you chose me to tell you the honest truth. And there are so many similarities between Derek and your daughter. I could swear that was Derek's kid. And honestly I think it is his. But why you would keep that from him is beyond me. Derek might not have had the greatest rep in the world, but he would have loved her like there was no tomorrow. And I think you've known that all along." Sam said while Casey looked at her hands. Most of what he said was true. Ok all of it was true, but it was hard to admit. So she didn't, she just kept her mouth closed._

"_Alright, if your not going to confirm or deny, I'm going to keep going. You named her Leanna. You always wanted to name your first daughter Lola is I remember correctly. Derek always wanted a baby girl named after his nana Leanne. You kind of combined the two names. Smooth one I have to say. She has your eyes definitely. But she has Derek's smirk, hair, and his 'I want it my way' attitude. How no one in your family is concluding what I am right now is beyond me. Although I think your mom might be the first to catch on." he continued. Casey frowned and looked at him._

"_Alright, alright. Your right about everything, okay? All of its right. And I ran away because I didn't want to ruin his life!" Casey screamed as her built up tears began to fall. But the tears falling weren't only for tonight, it was six years worth. And it felt good to just let it all out._

_Sam pulled up into Casey's driveway and unlocked the doors. He looked at her with a smile on his face. "Casey, you deserve only the best. And the best for you is Derek. Don't let him get away. And he deserves his daughter and she deserves him. Make the right choice." He kissed her lightly on the forehead as she looked at him. She unbuckled her seatbelt and exited the car. She slowly made her way up to the door but when she entered the house, she bolted for her room._

Now she was laying on Derek's bed. The same bed that had conceived their daughter. But she was laying alone with only her thought to accompany her. And she didn't even want her thought to accompany her. She turned to lay on her side and cried herself to sleep.

_**A/N: Hope you like this chapter. Finally the truth about who the father is has come out. But what will happen next? Are they going to end up together? Honestly, I have not made up mind yet! And I would like thank my awesome reviewers! And sorry about the mild swearing! R&R my readers! Love you guys! LilD**_


	9. Walk Away

-1**_I decided to update quickly. I had an idea for this chapter while I was listening to Walk Away by Paula DeAnda. This chapter is pretty much all focused around songs but you get more of an insight on Casey's point of view on her and Derek! Enjoy!_**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own LWD or any of the songs**_

Casey looked at road ahead of her. It was five in the morning after the horrible night she'd had less then ten hours ago. Tears were freely pouring out of her eyes. She glanced in the backseat seeing Lee sleeping like an angel.

Yes, it was true Casey was running away again. She didn't want to deal with the pain she had started to feel. She just wanted all of it to go away. She had been driving for two hours with less then three hours of sleep. She was tired and the quiet car was putting her to sleep.

She pressed the power button and found a station that came in pretty clearly. She recognized the song as "Invisible" by Ashlee Simpson. Casey hummed along with the song as she watched the road.

"That was Invisible by Ashlee Simpson. What a fantastic song that is!" the dj said through the speakers. Casey rolled her eyes at the enthusiasm in his voice at five in the morning. "Our next song is Walk Away by Paula DeAnda. What a fickled girl! First she's Doin Too Much and now she's walking away. Women these days!" the dj continued as the song began to play.

"I'm gonna remember you, You're gonna remember me, I'm gonna remember you, You're gonna remember me" sang Paula DeAnda. Casey frowned. The song's lyrics reminded her of Derek and her.

I saw you with your new girl just yesterday  
And I feel that I must confess  
Even though it kills me to have to say  
I'll admit that I was impressed  
Physically just short of perfection  
Gotta commend you on your selection

Casey's mind drifted back to the first time she had met Mel. She was beautiful. She reminded her of perfection compared to Casey's plain Jane look. And although Casey thought that Mel was pretty she could never tell Derek that! She had told him that she hated her in so many words. Even though she should have told him that he made a good choice. She seemed perfect for him, well besides Casey.

Though I know I shouldn't be concerned  
In the back of my mind  
I can't help but question  
Does she rub you feet  
When you've had a long day  
Scratch your scalp  
When you take out your braids  
Does she know that you like too  
Play PS2 till 6 in the morning  
Like I do

Casey did wonder if Mel did for Derek what she had done for him. Did Mel know all the stuff she knew about him? Casey used to rub Derek's shoulders after his hockey matches. He was always tense and sore after the games and he said she was the best at back massages. However, she could have been replaced. I mean isn't that what she was taught at her private school? Strive to be the best, but there will always be someone out there better then you! Maybe Mel was better at back massages then Casey was. Casey used to style Derek's messy look for him because she did a better job. She always styled it just right and he always got compliments. But of course his hair still looked perfect and that was without Casey there. And Derek always loved playing Playstation 2! He loved action games and when they were teens he would be up till all hours in the morning playing it. Of course he might have outgrown the habit, but she was sure she heard Edwin asking Derek if he got the Playstation 3.

I can't explain this feeling  
I think about it everyday  
And even though we've moved on  
It gets so hard to walk away  
(I'm gonna remember you  
You're gonna remember me)  
Walk Away, Walk Away  
(I'm gonna remember you  
You're gonna remember me)

I can't forget how we used to be  
Our life from day to day  
Hoping maybe you'll come back  
And though I tell myself not to be afraid  
To move on but it seems I can't  
But no other man has given me attention  
It ain't the same as your affection

Casey would never forget how Derek and her used to be. They would fight, bicker, and yell, but then they would laugh, kiss, and hug each other. Their life from day to day? It was always a roller coaster ride. One day they would hate each other and the next they would be madly in love with one another. It had always been a fun ride for the both of them and Casey had never wanted to get off. In her heart she truly wished Derek would come back, but she had shattered all hopes at the dinner. He hated her, there was no question about that! And constantly Casey tried to move on and convinced herself that no other man was going to hurt her. But she never could. She always compared them to Derek. Derek always gave her the most attention. He showered her with attention and affection. No man in New York wanted to do that. They were all businessmen and time was money. Affection to them was tennis bracelet or a diamond necklace. And sure most women would be content with that, but Casey wanted the type of affection that Derek always gave her. She would never find that with another man and she knew that!

Though I know I should be content  
In the back of my mind  
I can't help but question  
Does he kiss me on the forehead  
Before we play  
Show up on my doorstep  
(with a bouquet)  
Does he call me in the middle of the day  
It's okay  
Just to say hey baby I love you  
Like you used to

Casey knew she should be content with what she found in New York. Her last boyfriend, James Kindland, had been a true gentleman sure, but nothing he did compared to Derek. He never kissed her on the forehead before he left for work or before they fell asleep. Before they got intimate, he never even kissed her on her face. Derek had always kissed her on the forehead. He had always said when he kissed her on the forehead, it was like his print. She was his and all the other guys could see it. Derek had shown up at her bedroom door many of times with pink roses. Pink roses had always been her favorite. He made sure to hand deliver them and she knew he loved to see her smile. James always sent red roses through Flower United whenever he broke a date or forgot to call. Casey hated red roses and James could never seem to remember that. James hardly called her except to double-check a date or to cancel on her. Derek had called her all the time to tell her that he loved her. And sometimes to even ask how her day was. At one time her voicemail had had 17 messages in one day with Derek saying "I love you this many times forever". It had made her cry. James never did anything that sweet.

I can't explain this feeling  
I think about it everyday  
And even though we've moved on  
It gets so hard to walk away  
(I'm gonna remember you  
You're gonna remember me)  
Walk Away, Walk Away  
(I'm gonna remember you  
You're gonna remember me)

Walk Away, Walk Away

(I'm Gonna Remember You  
Your Gonna Remember Me)

I can't explain this feeling  
I think about it everyday  
And even though we've moved on  
It gets so hard to walk away

Casey could never explain her feelings for Derek. It was never anything she ever wanted to discuss with everyone. She didn't even want to explain them to herself! And Casey thought about Derek everyday. Whenever she saw a leather jacket she would see him. When someone gave her a smirk, his face would appear. And Leanna was a spitting image of Derek with the attitude to match. It was always hard to walk away whether anyone believed her or not. She didn't want to admit that Derek had moved on. She would say she had moved on which was a lie, but never could she admit to herself that he had. It was getting harder and harder to walk away.

(I'm gonna remember you  
You're gonna remember me)

Walk Away, Walk Away

Remember You

(I'm gonna remember you  
You're gonna remember me)

(I'm gonna remember you  
You're gonna remember me)

"God I'm turning this station!" Casey whispered loudly as she messed with the dials. She tuned into a country station and left it there. It played some upbeat songs that made Casey smile again as she hummed along.

"And that was Keith Anderson with Stick It. Our next song is Rascal Flatts'' new song, 'Yes I Do'," said yet another chipper dj. Casey liked Rascal Flatts but had not heard this song yet.

Do I cry, in the night?

Do I long to hold you tight?

And do I wake, wanting you?

Yes I do

Do I recall, everyday,

How you took my breath away?

Do I remember loving you?

Yes I do

Casey frowned. It was yet another song that would remind her of her former love. She did cry in the night! All the time. She used to think she cried too much, but she realized she was still hurting. She hugged her pillow while she slept imagining it was Derek in her arms. She would grasp that pillow so tightly it took hours for it to regain its shape back. And when she awoke from her sleep, she wanted Derek. She could envision him walking though the bedroom door smiling at her or laying next to her in the bed. That is how badly she wanted him. And when she looked at other guys including he ex's she realized that none of them took her breath away like Derek did. Sometimes she would forget to breathe and he would make a snide remark reminding her too. And of course she remembered loving him. Besides Leanna, he was the only person she loved unconditionally.

Yes I do dream of all we had together

Yes it's true we lost it all forever

Do I pray anyway?

Yes I do

Well I don't live in the past

Wanting love that wouldn't last

Well I don't wait, like I used to

Yes I do

Casey did have dreams of all they had together. Dreams that she was sure would never leave her and she didn't want them too. And she knew in her heart that they lost it all forever but she wanted it back. She wanted to defeat the term forever and get back. So she prayed every night asking for Derek back and to show her the right way to win his love. But no her prayers were not answered. Instead she broke his heart and made him hate her. She knew she should never have kept Lee a secret from him but she had honestly thought it was in the best. Unfortunately Casey couldn't live in the past. She had to keep pressing on for her own sanity and for Leanna. In her heart she believed that her and Derek's love could conquer all, but as it kept proving itself it would never work. And did she ever wait? Yes in high school she did, but when she got pregnant waiting was over. She just ran. She always ran.

Yes I do dream of all we had together

Yes it's true we've lost it all forever

Do I pray anyway?

Yes I do

Casey gave a moan and flipped the station yet again. "What does everyone want me to think about what I lost? Alright I get it! Derek and I are never going to be together and I'm still moping about it. I'm stupid I know." she said to herself. She didn't want to think about Derek. After all she was running away from Derek and those issues. She glanced again at Leanna who seemed to have a smirk playing at her lips. A genuine Derek smirk. Casey frowned remembering all the times Derek had given her those smirks. She returned her focus to the road and her mind drifted back to the music playing. It was Hate Me by Blue October. How all of these different genres of music kept playing songs that Casey related to her love life was beginning to piss her off.

I have to block out thoughts of you so i don't lose my head  
they crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed  
dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone  
playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home  
there's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain  
an ounce of peace is all i want for you. will you never call again?  
and will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?  
and will you never try to reach me?  
it is i that wanted space

Yes she did have to block out thoughts of Derek so she didn't go insane. If she could, she would have thought about Derek twenty-four seven, but she would have driven herself nuts. Constantly she replayed some of her and Derek's happier times in her head. It was like turning on a DVD that would never stop. The memories always brought her to happier times, but on the outside she was crying and in pain. She wanted Derek to have peace and for him to move on. She wanted him to forget about her and his obligation to Leanna and find happiness for himself. But then her selfish side would come out and she would wonder if he would ever call her again? Would he ever say I love you even if it was to make her feel like crap? Would he write her letters or find her on the web or follow her to New York? It was Casey's decision to leave and it wasn't Derek's fault.

hate me today  
hate me tomorrow  
hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

I'm sober now for 3 whole months it's one accomplishment that you helped me with  
the one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing i won't touch again  
in a sick way i want to thank you for holding my head up late at night  
while i was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight  
you never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate  
you made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take  
so I'll drive so fucking far away that i never cross your mind  
and do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Derek always reassured Casey of her importance and beauty. He always complimented her. No one else ever complimented her as much as he had. She always owed him a part of her self esteem because he helped her find it. So to help him she was driving away, far away to New York so he would never have to think of her. He would never see her, so why would he think about her? She wanted him to leave her behind so he could be happy. But then again she always wanted to have a piece of his heart. He would always have half of hers.

hate me today  
hate me tomorrow  
hate me for all the things i didn't do for you

hate me in ways  
yeah ways hard to swallow  
hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

and with a sad heart i say bye to you and wave  
kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that i had made  
and like a baby boy i never was a man  
until i saw your blue eyes crying and i held your face in my hand  
and then i fell down yelling "make it go away!"  
just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be  
and then she whispered "how can you do this to me?"

Her heart was heavy leaving him behind again. She had wrote him a letter along with the rest of her family saying bye which she was sure was not good enough. As she drove it seemed like she was either trying to run away from her mistakes or run them over. Either way, she was not succeeding. When Casey glanced in her review mirror she didn't see a mature woman, she saw the same scared teenage from six years ago looking back. It made her shudder knowing that her past was not put to rest yet. When she had seen Derek get angry and cry she had wanted to subside his pain but she couldn't. There was no way to do it. She had said sorry and that was not going to fix all the pain she had cause. She didn't get to see his smile before she left because she had erased it. How could she have done that to him? How could she have kept his own child from him? How could she be running away with her again? Why did she constantly keep hurting the one man she claimed to love?

hate me today  
hate me tomorrow  
hate me for all the things i didn't do for you

hate me in ways  
yeah ways hard to swallow  
hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

Derek had said he hated her. In a way she wanted him too. It would help him see what was best for him. But in another sense she had wanted him to say that he loved her no matter what. No, that is _what_ she wanted to hear him say!

The song came to an end and Casey knew what she had to do. All of her prayers had been answered because she was shown signs. She pulled her car into a Wal-Mart parking lot while she flipped the station back to country. She turned the car around and headed back to her Derek. She smiled as she heard the song playing on the radio. It was a very good sign.

Katie's sittin on her old front porch  
Watchin' the chickens peck the ground  
There ain't a whole lot going on tonight  
In this one horse town  
Over yonder comin' up the road  
In a beat up Chevy truck  
Her boyfriend Tommy is laying on the horn  
Splashing through the mud and the muck

Her daddy say's he ain't worth a lick  
When it comes to brains  
He got the short end of the stick  
But Katie's young and man she just don't care  
She'd follow Tommy anywhere  
She's in love with the boy  
She's in love with the boy  
She's in love with the boy  
And even if they have to run away  
She's gonna marry that boy someday

Katie and Tommy at the drive in movie  
Parked in the very last row   
They're to busy holding on to one another  
To even care about the show  
Later on outside the Tasty Freeze  
Tommy slips something on her hand  
He says my high school ring will have to do   
Till I can buy a wedding band

Her daddy say's he ain't worth a lick

When it comes to brains  
He got the short end of the stick  
But Katie's young and man she just don't care  
She'd follow Tommy anywhere  
She's in love with the boy  
She's in love with the boy  
She's in love with the boy  
And even if they have to run away  
She's gonna marry that boy someday

Her Daddy's waitin up til half past twelve  
When they come sneakin' up the walk  
He says young lady get on up to your room  
While me and junior have a talk  
Momma breaks in says don't lose your temper   
It wasn't very long ago  
You yourself was just a hay seed plow boy  
Who didn't have a row to how

My daddy said you wasn't worth a lick  
When it came to brains you got the short of the stick  
But he was wrong and honey you are to  
Katie looks at Tommy like I still at you  
She's in love with the boy  
She's in love with the boy  
She's in love with the boy  
What's meant to be will always find a way  
She's gonna marry that boy someday

_**A/N: I hope you guys like the chapter. The songs are Walk Away by Paula DeAnda, Yes I Do by Rascal Flatts, Hate Me by Blue October, and She's In Love With the Boy by Trisha Yearwood. I think the songs helped express her feelings on the situation. And I would love to thank all of faithful readers and reviewers! You guys mean the world to me and that is why I updated quickly as well! Hope you like the chapter! Much Love LilD**_


	10. Stronger

-1_Hey guys!!!! New Chappy! Yea! So yeah read on! Mild swearing beware!_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own LWD!**_

Rain began to pour while Casey drove. Nothing would stop her from reaching Derek and allowing him to be a part of her's and Leanna's lives. Nothing would stop her from being apart from Derek much longer. She smiled to herself while she drove.

Two hours later, she sat in the parking lot of Derek's apartment. She saw his car parked and she knew he was home. She glanced at Leanna who was playing with some dolls in the backseat. She took a deep breath and turned the car off. The rain seem to come down harder as she exited the car and carried Lee to the lobby of the apartment building.

Casey shook the water off of her and looked at the apartment mailboxes. She ran her finger down the apartment numbers until she came to Venturi, Apt. 10A. She looked down at her daughter who seem to be getting antsy. Seeing as it was 8 in the morning, it was understandable. Casey figured out that 10A was on the second floor and grabbed Lee's hand and went to the stairs.

She took the slowly as to settle her heart from beating so fast. Of course that didn't help and she started to shake with nervousness. Lee looked concerned at her mother.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" she asked Casey. Her big blue eyes questioning her mother.

Casey sighed and replied, "I'm just nervous about what I'm going to do honey." Leanna nodded her head as if she understood. Casey continued shaking as they went by the rooms.

_2A, 4A, 6A, 8A _she counted off in her head. She felt her heart take a giant leap when she saw the number 10A. She contemplated on just running towards the staircase again and returning to the road back to New York. But it was as if she was frozen to the spot she located at. She raised her hand to knock on the door not realizing what she was doing. Lee just looked at the door with questions in her eyes.

"Who's there?" came an uneven voice. It was Derek's but it sounded different. Casey knew that tone from somewhere but couldn't place it.

"Um, its me Casey. And Leanna. Please open the door." she pleaded. She didn't know whether he would open the door, but she was going to tell him what was on her mind if she had to stand in the hall and do it.

She heard something slump against the door. "I ain't opening the door for you." he said. Casey frowned and realized how she knew that tone. He was drunk. Drunk at 8 in the morning!

She pounded her fist on the door. "Derek let me in now! I know your drunk! LET ME IN!" she yelled at the closed door in her face.

She heard movement and the lock clicking. The door opened slightly and she saw Derek's form retreat. She pushed the door open the rest of the way with Leanna peeking around her. The apartment was torn apart and looked like it had gone through a robbery. She saw beer bottles strewn across the island in the kitchen. As she stepped into the living room, she saw an empty bottle laying on the floor. She picked it up and read the label. Absolute. She raised her eyebrow at him.

"Yep, I drank it all." he said as he stumbled towards the bathroom. She rolled her eyes as she traveled the rest of the apartment. His bedroom seemed untouched by his drunkenness and she ushered Leanna in there. She turned the TV on and went back into the living room.

Derek had beaten her there and was sitting on his couch with a bottle in his hand. It was Budweiser and he seemed to be drowning it real fast.

"Derek, I came here to talk to you but your drunk! How can I tell you anything right now?" Casey whined. Derek winced at her high pitched voice.

"I'll tell you something Casey. I think you're a selfish bitch and a whore." he blurted out with no remorse. Everyone knew Derek was a mean drunk.

Casey bit her lip and then spoke. "Derek I don't think you mean that so I'm just going to ignore it." Derek laughed and took another swig of his alcohol. "Why are you drinking?"

"Why am I drinking? I was bored. I had nothing better to do, so I drank." he said spitefully. Of course that was not his true meaning for drinking.

"Ok, well Derek, I'm going to tell you why I came here." Casey began as she got off the couch. She kicked a few bottles out of her way towards the kitchen. She turned the faucet on and made a cup of water. She searched the cupboards for aspirin until she found some. She returned to the living room with it and sat it in front of Derek who just pushed it farther away.

Casey rolled her eyes at his stupidity and continued. "I was on my way to New York again." Derek looked at her questionley but she continued. "Yeah I know I wasn't suppose to leave until next week but I just couldn't take it here anymore. Anyways, I was on the road for like two hours and I had time to think. And all I could think about was how I hurt you and how I thought I was doing you a favor by running."

He smirked but she ignored it and continued. "I thought about everything we ever did together. It made me smile. Those were the best days of my life. Even when I'm in New York I think about you. Everything made me think about you. No matter how much distance I put between the two of us, I still want to be with you. And I know now that keeping you from Leanna was not my best decision. You do deserve to be a part of her life." Derek looked away from her while he gulped the last of the beer in the bottle down.

Casey looked at him with sad eyes. She knew he wasn't really listening to her but she continued. "Derek, I'm sorry. I want you to be Lee's dad. I don't want to run anymore. Derek will you say something?"

Derek looked at her with cold eyes that made her shudder. He tossed his bottle at the wall and it shattered into a million of pieces. "You want me to say somethin'?" he asked. She was afraid to nod her head yes, but she mouthed the word yes anyways.

"I think you are a selfish bitch like I said before. I think you only care about yourself. And your probably coming to me telling me this stuff because you need money or something. You want me to be in Leanna's life now, so you can get child support? You think I'm stupid? I may be drunk but I know when I'm getting played." Casey looked at him in shock. Why was he doing this? He was calling her a liar.

"Why don't you just leave Casey? Go back to New York and leave us alone. We were so much better without you around. Everyone was at peace when you were gone. We didn't have to hear someone bitch twenty-four seven. Everything didn't always have to be perfect. I didn't have to protect you. I didn't have to deal with all of you pettiness." he said in a cold voice. She could feel tears falling from her eyes. She hated him for making her cry and worse for saying these cruel things to her. She came here to make amends and now he was making it worse. Well he was drunk, but she thought drunks always told the truth. Oh god!

"But Derek," Casey started but was interrupted by Derek.

"Get out of my apartment and take your bastard daughter with you. I don't even think you know who her real father is. Its not me that's a fact. Its probably Sam or maybe even that guy in New York. There's probably ten other guys who could probably be the father. But one thing is for certain, I _AM NOT THE FATHER OF YOUR BASTARD CHILD! SO DO NOT PIN HER ON ME BECAUSE HER FATHER DOESN'T WANT HER!"_ he yelled. Casey's tears came harder. How dare he call her daughter a bastard or say she was a whore. But her heart broke even more when another voice joined them.

"Mommy is what Uncle Derek says true? My daddy doesn't want me?" came a wobbly voice laced with tears. She looked at her beautiful daughter who was crying so hard. Her head whipped back at Derek as she stood from the couch. She walked a couple of steps until she was in front of him. She put her face right in his and screamed the loudest she'd ever screamed.

"**_DON'T YOU EVER CALL MY DAUGHTER A BASTARD! SHE IS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND LOVING CHILD I HAVE EVER SEEN. SHE IS MY PRIDE AND JOY! NEVER LET HER NAME PASS YOUR LIPS AGAIN. I AM NOT A WHORE. SHE IS YOUR CHILD NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY. I WILL GO BACK TO NEW YORK JUST SO YOU CAN'T HURT HER AGAIN. AND WHEN YOU SAY HER FATHER DOESN'T WANT HER, THEN THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT. YOU ARE A DRUNK ASSHOLE. I JUST HOPE WHEN YOU SOBER UP YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU DID AND WHAT YOUR DAUGHTER'S FACE LOOKED LIKE WHEN YOU RUINED HER YOUNG LIFE!" _**Casey picked up Derek's camera and snapped some pictures of him drunk and Leanna crying.

She walked over to her daughter and picked her up and cuddled her. "I love you sweetie. No matter what I love you." she kept repeating as they walked out of the apartment and Derek's life for good. Casey seat buckled the child in and started the car. She pulled out of the parking lot without ever looking back. She flipped the radio as she drove. The song filled the speakers.

Ooh hey, yeah

Hush, just stop  
There's nothing you can do or say, baby  
I've had enough  
I'm not your property as from today, baby  
You might think that I won't make it on my own  
But now I'm…

Stronger than yesterday  
Now it's nothing but my way  
My loneliness ain't killing me no more  
I'm stronger

That I ever thought that I could be, baby  
I used to go with the flow  
Didn't really care 'bout me  
You might think that I can't take it, but you're wrong  
'Cause now I'm…

Stronger than yesterday  
Now it's nothing but my way  
My loneliness ain't killing me no more  
I'm stronger

Come on, now  
Oh, yeah

Here I go, on my own  
I don't need nobody, better off alone  
Here I go, on my own now  
I don't need nobody, not anybody  
Here I go, alright, here I go

Stronger than yesterday  
Now it's nothing but my way  
My loneliness ain't killing me no more  
I'm stronger

Casey tried to smile knowing the song was true. But her heart was breaking more then she ever knew possible. All she did know for certain was she was heading back to New York without any intention of ever coming back.

_**A/N: Don't fret. This isn't the end yet. Still debating on whether they are going to be together. Oy. Well R&R and I'll be just so happy to update again lol! Also a big thanks goes out to my faithful readers and reviewers! Maybe I'll make it too 100!!!!! Oh yeah the song is Stronger by Britney Spears. Much love Lil D.**_


	11. After a Drunken Night

-1_Hey guys!!!! This is going to be a very short chapter. I think this story only has about two to three chapters left :'( But yeah! And sorry it took so long! Oh yeah I also don't think this is a very good chapter. More of a filler chapter!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own LWD._

Derek groaned as he turned over and hit his hand on cold glass. He opened his eyes only to squint them at the bright light coming through the window. His head was pounding and his stomach was rolling. He felt like he had to puke. Take that back, he had to puke.

He quickly got up and ran to the bathroom. He heaved everything and anything that had been in his stomach from the night before into the toilet. He swished some water around in his mouth and stumbled back to his unkempt couch.

He saw some aspirin and water sitting on his coffee table. He knew had hadn't put them there. He was certain Mel didn't either since they had broken up after dinner. He really couldn't remember what had exactly happened after Marti's dinner except for Mel slapping him in his face. After that, it was one big blur.

He swallowed the aspirin and chugged the water. That wasn't his best move he decided when his stomach began to roll again. He moaned in pain and looked around his messy apartment. He saw bottles all around him. Had he really drank this much last night?

Well his night had sucked. First, he found out that he had a daughter. Second, his daughter was with his stepsister Casey. Thirdly, Casey and he had a major argument at dinner. Fourth, when he dropped Mel off and began to kiss her he called her Casey. Fifth, Mel slapped him and broke up with him. Yeah his night had sucked.

He could always apologize to Mel today after his headache left. He didn't really want to get back together with her, but he did want her friendship. And he could go over to his parents house and apologize to Casey…..

"CASEY!" Derek yelped as all the memories of that morning flooded back. The pain in her face and more importantly the pain in his daughters face. "Oh my god. I called my daughter a bastard child. Oh my god." Derek kept repeating to himself. He had hurt his own daughter.

"They are probably already half way to New York by now. I'm an idiot." Derek said slapping himself in the head only to wince in pain as his head hurt worse. He spied his camera on the floor and grabbed it. He had taken some cute pictures of Leanna on her first night in Canada.

For some reason, Derek felt that looking at the pictures could relieve some of pain from the night before. That was not the case. When he turned the camera on, he saw pictures of Leanna crying and of him drunk and sweaty. Tears began to fall from his eyes as he remembered the things he had called her.

He had called his own daughter a bastard. She could never be that. She was the cutest, most loveable kids ever. And she was so sweet with her hint of temper. And he had said that her father didn't want her. But he did. He really did.

"What am I going to do?" Derek asked the air around him. He knew what he had to do as he grabbed his leather coat and keys. He had to follow her.


	12. Lacey's Song Revised

_A/N: So I changed the last chapter because I was getting to many complaints that it seemed rushed and they didn't like who she ended up with. So here is the revised last chapter. Sorry it took so long! Hopefully you like it better. And go read my new story "Casey's Back in Town" and leave me a tons of comments! Much Love LilD_

Casey glanced at the calendar on the wall. It was three years after she left Derek drunk and angry in his apartment. Three years after she told her heart to let him go and become stronger. Three years after she had seen her daughters tear soaked face from hearing Derek's cruel words. The three years had passed by quickly with happiness, but mostly with heartbreak.

She heard the apartment door open and Leanna drop her book bag off by the door. She left it there knowing that Casey would tell her to pick it up and take it to her room. But she was nine now and didn't listen very well. But today was different. Leanna knew she would get away with leaving her bag there today. She could have even gotten away with faking sick and staying home today, but she had went to school anyways. She knew what she could pull today.

Casey glanced up when Leanna walked past the kitchen doorway towards her room. Her daughter didn't even say hi. She just went into her room and shut the door quietly. Music drifted out to Casey but it just made it harder on her. She placed her head into her hands and let her mind drift back three years because there was no use in trying to stop it.

_Casey dropped her car keys in the end table in the living room with the hand that was under Leanna's head. She then placed her daughter in her little bed. Leanna's little face was still tear stained after a couple hours of crying. Casey couldn't cast stones at this because her face became wetter by the minute. She turned the bedroom light off and went to the refrigerator._

_She grabbed her bottle of Bacardi Limon and mixed it with coke. True, she was trying to drown her pain in alcohol, but she was going to over do it like Derek had. She was only going to have a cup or two. Not enough to get her fully drunk, just enough to ease the pain a little. She took a long sip and placed it on the end table by her keys as she allowed herself to sink into her velour couch._

_Her eyes noticed that she had six messages. I've been gone for a week and all I got was six messages, she thought to herself in disgust. Had she really become such a loser that no one called her anymore? No, she was a mother who was more concerned with her child's life and making sure it was easy on her. Plus her job kept her busy at points. Jobs and kids, yeah that was why she only had six messages she convinced herself. Her finger pressed the play button and she grabbed her cup to sip as she listened._

"_Hey it's Casey and Leanna! We're in Canada for a week so just leave a message after the beep and we'll get back to you! If its an emergency just call our cell phone, 555-622-8903. Love ya!" BEEP! Leanna and her own voices played to her. Casey smiled at the silliness of the message. Apparently none of these messages had been an emergency because no one had called her cell phone. Well she couldn't be certain because she hadn't checked her cell phone in four days and it was on silent._

"_This message is for Casey McDonald. This is Kevin, your boss. Well I would think you know that. Anyways, Miss Robertson needs us to move her up two weeks so I really need you to get back to me. I can't do this without you. Although I forgot you were in Canada. Well just call me when you get back." BEEP! Casey rolled her eyes at Kevin Larson. He was as flaky as they came but when the job needed to get done he got it done. She made a mental note to call him back tomorrow. She was sure he was still in the office but right now was her alone time with her cup of alcohol which she took a sip of. She swished it in her mouth for a couple of seconds and then swallowed it. No wonder why Derek had been drinking she realized when she felt herself relaxing._

"_Hey honeys, its your dad slash grand pappy. I just figured I'd give you a call so you didn't think I forgot that this was the week. I just wanted to let you guys know that I love you both! And no matter what Case, you made the right decision back then. Call me when you get home." BEEP! Casey's dad was the only one who knew the truth about Leanna for quite awhile. And he never condemned her decision to not tell Derek the truth all those years ago. Although he said it was the right decision , she knew he had thought she should have told him. That she should never have ran and kept it a secret. Maybe it was because her dad and Derek bonded that night when he came to Canada. She knew that Derek had gained his respect that night. Well dad, I told him. But he flipped out, she thought as she gulped some rum and coke down. It burned her throat but it felt good at the same time. _

"_Casey, its James. I have a dinner function in a couple of weeks and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me. It's a formal dinner. Well I don't know, just give me a call back. Peace." BEEP! Casey's grip tightened on her drink as if someone was going to take it from her at any given point. She had forgotten that even though James and her were not an official item anymore, he still chased after her. Not that James was that bad of a guy, but he wasn't Derek. And why had he said peace? He normally said love ya or I love you. But no, he had turned gangster on her and had said peace. Liquid once again entered her mouth and burned her esophagus. Whenever Casey drank, which was little to none, she preferred rum and whiskey over all other liquors._

"_It's your mother Casey! I'm going frantic trying to find you two! I tried your cell phone too but it just kept going straight to voicemail. Can you please call me so I know your alive because I love you honey!" BEEP! All the calls when straight to voicemail so that meant her cell phone had died. Casey added more mental notes to her list. Call her mother so that the National Guard wouldn't be out looking for her and charge her cell phone. She did feel guilty for not calling or leaving a note to tell her mother not to worry. But the rum cured her guiltiness as she took a swig of it. _

" _Casey, its Derek! I am so sorry about what happened last night. For some reason I thought that alcohol was the answer to all of my problems. I wish you and Leanna had never seen me like that. I wish I could take back everything I said to you. And I will make it up. I'm on my way to the US Canadian border right now. I'm coming because I want to be a part of your and Leanna's lives. And I won't go anywhere this time. Casey, I lo-" BEEP! Casey grabbed the answering machine and shook it. _

"_You dumb piece of shit! He was going to tell me he loved me and you cut him off!" Casey screamed with rage at the machine. She blinked as if she had just realized that there was still one more message. It could be Derek finishing his message. She gently placed the machine back down on the table and grabbed her drink. She finished it off and threw the cup behind her. Normally she was a much neater person but right now she didn't care. Plus she had a pretty nice buzz going on already._

"_Casey, this is George. It's very important that you call me back as soon as possible. We're in the middle of an um, family emergency." BEEP! For some reason, George's message sent chills down her back. His voice wasn't the same up tempo it normally was. She grabbed for her cordless phone and dialed the familiar number._

_It rang three times before there was a pick up. "Venturi-McDonald Residence." came a young girls voice which could only be Marti. She sounded chipper so maybe Casey was worried for no reason and this was interrupting her calling Derek. She wanted to hear him say he loved her which was selfish in a way._

"_Hey Marti, its Casey. Can I talk to George or my mom?" Casey said into the phone._

"_Sure Case. Hold on for a sec." Casey could hear Marti walking down the stairs. Weird, Casey thought. Normally the kids would just yell down the stairs. Well unless their parents were in a bad mood. Casey heard Marti tell one of the adults that it was Casey on the phone. The phone was passed and she heard a sharp intake of breath._

"_Casey, its George." came an uneven voice over the phone. Casey's heart began to race. She had never heard George sound anything but confident and upbeat. Except when he was yelling at one of the kids. Then he was confident and loud. But this was different. This was the voice of someone who was devastated and heartbroken._

"_George what's the matter? Is my mom and Lizzie okay? Is anyone hurt?" Casey asked in a rush. Whenever her heart began to race she rushed her words. It was a bad habit and it happened more then it should have, but this seemed like an appropriate time._

"_Casey, there was a c-c-car crash. Derek was in-in-involved." George said slowly as he stumbled over some of the words. He stopped abruptly and Casey tapped her receiver to make sure it didn't cut out or die. But then she heard the shallow breathing of George._

"_George what happened to Derek? Is he in jail? The hospital?" Casey pressed him. Her words still coming out in a rush and sounded to any sane persons ear more like gibberish. Her head was pounding now with the race of her heart. She could feel all the blood going to her head._

"_Casey, the accident was fa-" George's words became engulfed with tears. And she heard the soothing sound of her mother's voice speaking to George. She was gently asking him to give her the phone so she could talk to Casey._

"_Casey, its mom." her mom's unusually low voice came over the line. Casey's hand was gripping the receiver so tight that her hand was ghostly white._

"_What happened mom? Just tell me please." Another rush of words but her mom understood completely. As Casey waited impatiently on the line for her mom to speak she could feel her breathing becoming as shallow as her stepfathers._

_Her mom took a deep breath before continuing. "Honey, Derek was killed instantly. He didn't feel any pain the doctor said. He was hit dead on by a drunk driver. We haven't told the kids because we don't want to upset them just yet. And we wanted to tell you first." No wonder why Marti sounded so chipper. They hadn't told her yet. _

_Casey could feel the phone slipping from her hand and the tears from her eyes beginning to rim her eyes. "When is the funeral? I want to be there. I have to be there." Casey switched the phone into her other hand to protect it from falling to the ground. She tried to wipe the tears from her eyes before they fell but she could taste the salty liquid on her lips already._

"_It's a week from today honey. I know that this is hard on you because Derek and you had become so close. Hardly fighting, actually getting along. We knew this was going to be hard for you but honey, be strong for all of us." her mom said soothingly into the phone. But it sounded more to Casey like she was pleading to her. Pleading that she be the strong, organized family member for them. All of them. How could she be the rock for them when she felt her whole world crumbling around her._

_Casey closed her eyes and saw Derek's image float into her mind. She took a deep breath and released it. "Mom, I have to tell you something. But I'd much rather tell all of you together face to face. I'll leave tonight and make it home by tomorrow morning. When are you ordering his tombstone mom?" Casey said her voice wavering._

"_Honey don't rush. I don't want to have to bury two kids in one week. And whatever you have to tell me can wait honey. I don't want you to rush! And we're going tomorrow early to pick out a casket and tombstone. Its going to kill George." her mom said quietly, probably in the hopes that George wouldn't hear. Casey bit her bottom lip. Knowing her luck, especially this luck she'd had this past week, she wouldn't make it there before they bought the tombstone._

"_Mom can you promise me that you will put something on his tombstone?" she asked through her warm tears that were falling fast and hard._

_Her mom hesitated but quickly answered a short yes. "Please make sure that you have them put that he was a loving father." she said. Her mom questioned this, because to Nora, Derek had no children. But Casey said she would explain it all the next day._

A clock began to ding in the living room and it snapped Casey out of her daymare. Her eyes were already watering remembering the pain she felt during a telephone call. She had never known that one could feel so much pain in a phone call. But she had. Real pain that had never really subsided.

She had made it back to Canada in record time. But even though she made it there quickly the drive had seem to take forever. She had cried the whole time there. At one point she had thought the tears would dry up and stop coming but they hadn't. And then she had to explain to Leanna why she would never see Derek again.

If Casey had thought she felt pain, her daughter got it twice as hard. It was her father. A father that she hadn't know but for a week. Six years of waiting to meet her dad and only a week to know him. And in that week he had unintentionally broken his young daughters heart to get back at her mother. Casey blamed herself for her daughters pain and Derek's death.

Casey's mind drifted back to their arrival back in Canada for the second time in a month. A sad day in anybody's eye. This time there was no excitement to see her and her daughter. She got the chills up her back when she thought of how the house felt so cold and empty knowing that Derek would never walk through that door again. The tear stained face of Marti forever engraved in her mind.

_Casey walked to the door with Leanna grasping her hand tightly. Her finger raised to ring the doorbell. To hell with that doorbell, she thought and opened the door. The wind that came to her from the inside of the house sent chills up her back. She wanted to run again but she forced herself to walk into the living room._

"_Mom! George! I'm here." Casey yelled. Normally in the household, you could hear the rapid footsteps of somebody coming to greet you. But today, she heard only a small pitter patter of one person's feet on the second floor. Casey dropped her purse on the couch and turned to face the stairs. The stairs that held a lot of memories for her and Derek. Mostly memories of fighting but there had been some good ones._

_Marti had appeared at the bottom of the stairs after what seemed like eternity. Her face was wet with fresh tears and her eyes were red and bloodshot. Marti tried to smile but failed miserably. She stood just staring at Casey and Leanna for a couple of minutes. She opened her mouth like she was going to speak but then she just ran over and hugged Casey letting her tears flow harder. Casey had smoothed her hair and told her it was all going to be okay. Leanna let go of her mother's hand and faced her aunt._

"_Aunt Marti, I know you loved my daddy and your sad. But could you remind me about him?" asked Leanna innocently. Marti let her embrace go and looked back and forth at between mother and daughter. She let her gaze stop on Casey as if to ask her if Derek was indeed Marti's father. Casey nodded slowly not knowing what to expect._

"_I loved your daddy very much Lee. And I have pictures and cards and things I can show you to remind you of him. Just go up to my room and I'll be right up." Marti replied as she slowly wiped her tears away. She turned back to Casey and even though she was still crying and felt pain, she had a small smile on her face. "Case I always knew that you two had something special. And Leanna acts just like him. But never would I have actually guessed that she was his. But even though I should be angry that you didn't tell me and he didn't either, I feel a tiny bit better." She turned to the stairs to go to her room and as she walked up the stairs she looked back. "And Case?"_

_Casey looked at Marti allowing her to see her tears of happiness and sadness that at least one family member approved of her and Derek's former relationship. "Yeah?"_

"_Your not my step-sister. You're my sister." Marti said and turned away. Casey watched her as she left and then fell back into the recliner in the living room. The recliner that only Derek had been allowed to sit in while they grew up. Some tears fell as she looked around the familiar room. Her tears began to come full blast again as her mother and George opened the front door. Casey glanced at them and saw Lizzie and Edwin following slowly._

"_Honey your home already." Nora said. She was pointing the obvious out even though they knew before they entered the house. Casey's car was in the driveway. She was greeted by a wave of the other three's hands._

_Casey got up to hug her mom and George. "Yeah I told you I would be here. How did today go?" she asked while the small group went into the kitchen and sat down around the island._

_George blinked a couple of times, Casey was sure he was blinking back tears, and then spoke in an even, solemn voice. "It went as good as can be expected. I hope you never have to experience how hard it is to bury your child. Picking out a coffin and a tombstone for someone who you raised and loved and knowing that they will never get to experience life as you intended for them is probably the hardest thing I will ever endure Case." George was being strong for the kids. That is why he is biting his lip and playing with his watch, Casey thought._

"_I am so sorry George. I know this isn't really the time but I have to tell all of you something." Casey said, hurrying her words. All four looked at her with a sense of hope in their eyes. She didn't quite know what they were hoping for, but she was sure she couldn't deliver what they wanted. Actually she knew what she had to say was not what they hoped for. None of them spoke so Casey continued to speak._

"_I don't know how to tell you this. I mean I didn't even tell him the right way. Um, Leanna is Derek's daughter." Casey said fighting back her tears and tried to avoid all of their eyes. She heard a sharp intake of breath by her mother and the snap of the watch band by George._

"_I knew it Casey. I knew it!" Lizzie said in the silence that Casey feared. Casey looked at her younger sister. She had always been the first to figure things out. _

"_So I'm figuring that Derek knew she was his?" her mother asked. Casey nodded feeling the guilt she had been feeling on the ride coming all back in one swoosh. "When did he find out honey?"_

_Casey couldn't look at any of them again. She looked at the ceiling, at the walls behind their heads, and finally at her fidgety hands. "I didn't really tell him. He found out at Marti's dinner. We got into a fight at the restaurant and that was why he left in a rush. Well that night I decided to run back to New York again. But then I couldn't do it. I had to talk to him about her because I knew he would want to be a part of her life. But when I got to his apartment he was wasted on vodka and beer. I tried to talk to him," she said with a laugh realizing that was one of the stupidest mistakes she could have made. "But his anger just kept escalating until he said things he didn't mean. I took them literally and left though again for New York. I made it home and I was listening to my messages. I got one from him. He said he loved the two of us and he was coming to see us. He-he-he," she busted out into tears again. She tried to recover to finish the story but her tears kept coming. She knew they wanted the rest of the story. She took a deep breath and continued. "He said he loved me…well he was going too until that damn machine cut him off. And then I got George's message. Th-th-th-then you told me he ddddied! He died because of me." Casey couldn't control her emotions anymore. _

_Her mother quickly rose out of her seat and began to comfort her eldest daughter. "Honey its not your fault. It was the other driver. None of us blame you sweetie." her mother said in her calming voice. Casey nodded her head while she wiped at her nose knowing she would always feel guilt. Everyone had quickly come to Casey's aide telling her it wasn't her fault. _

Casey was awaken from her memories by Leanna's loud music. It wasn't hard rock or anything, her daughter just chose to play the music at a high interval. She was playing a song called I Loved Her First. She always told Casey that would have been her father-daughter dance at her wedding in the future. She said that if father was there, he would have loved it. Casey always laughed because she knew Derek hated country music. But then again, the music did define what Derek would have felt for his daughter.

Casey suddenly grasped the jewelry at her neck as if to protect it from the past. As if she was afraid that past was going to rip it away from her. But her grasp on her jewelry only made her mind travel back three years again. Back to the day of the funeral.

_Casey was dressed in all black from head to toe as she entered the church. She saw people she knew from high school including Sam and Emily. Even Kendra, Derek's ex-girlfriend from high school, was there. They had all come to pay their last respects. Many of them came up to her to pay her their condolences as well. Emily stayed by her side which surprised her. She hadn't talked to her in over six years and hadn't even tried to get a hold of her last week. But that was what best friends were for. When you needed a shoulder to cry on, they were there no matter what._

_Casey linked her arm to Emily's and began to walk forward to the casket. Her eye caught the picture of Derek that was placed on an easel. It was his college graduation picture. He had his diploma in his hand and he looked so happy. He even had his trademark smirk on his face. Sadly, Casey had missed his graduation of course. A tear rolled down her cheek and Emily patted her hair. "Case, its going to be okay." Casey glanced at her and smiled. She unlinked her arm from Emily's. "Em, I have to do this on my own. But save me a seat, okay?" Emily had just nodded and went to find them seats by Casey's family._

_Casey took her time walking to the casket. The casket seemed like an impeding doom to her. It symbolized that he was actually dead. Up until the moment she reached his casket, she had felt the same way she had while watching Cruel Intentions. That it was just a cruel trick and when everyone made it to the funeral, he would pop out and be alive. Unfortunately she had been wrong during the movie and she was wrong now as she looked at him lying in the casket. He was wearing his best suit with a blue tie. His hockey stick, with his whole team's autographs, was in the casket with him. She noticed a picture of Marti was placed in it. No doubt that Marti had put it in there. Smarti and Smerek forever. A smile played at her lips for a second but she forced her lips back into a straight line._

"_Derek, why did this have to happen? When it seemed like we were going to actually work out, everything went wrong again! And because of me, Leanna will never know her father. God, Derek I love you! I don't know how I'm going to go on living. But I'm going to have to for our daughter. I'm going to raise her to be perfect just like you. I'll always love you." She placed a pink rose over his folded hands while she began to cry again. She felt as if she was glued there to the floor and she couldn't move. Sam came up to her and helped her to her seat in between Lizzie and Emily. She laid her head on Emily's shoulder and let the tears flow freely and Lizzie grasped her hand._

_The funeral went by like most funerals do, but this one would be forever engraved in her head. They showed a slideshow of Derek's favorite pictures. To Casey's surprise, one of them was from a family vacation of her and him. Casey smiled as people said aw like they knew something. Lizzie leaned over and whispered in her ear, "That picture was on his nightstand until he met Mel." Lizzie sat upright again and Casey's tears flowed even harder. After the pictures, people were allowed to go to the speaker and say a few words of their memories with Derek. Many of his high school friends, including Sam, spoke of his infamous pranks and love of life and girls. Some of his exgirlfriends spoke of how they were upset when they broke up but were glad that they had a chance to get to know the "real" Derek. Casey smiled through their speeches. She would have gotten up to speak, but she couldn't._

_The was an hour and a half of people just talking and remembering about Derek. Then came the burial. Casey didn't know how she was going to be able to handle it. The drive over to the graveyard seemed like an eternity. When they finally got there Casey made sure to stand right by the open grave. Emily found her and stood with her and her family. The pastor spoke and concluded the ceremony. People walked forward and placed flowers in the hole in the ground. Casey stood back and waited till everyone else was done. She walked over and threw a bouquet of a dozen pink roses into the grave and felt Emily give her shoulders a squeeze._

"_Hey Casey. I thought I would bring you this. Its from high school. I think you should have it because people loved Derek. And I think it'll remind you of good times and make you laugh." Emily said as she handed Casey a nicely wrapped package. _

"_Thanks Em. I'm so glad you were here to help me out today. Even after six years you still have my Klutzilla back." Casey said at an attempt to make a joke. Emily cracked a smile, but Casey failed at making herself laugh much more then a smile ._

"_I have to go Casey. Call me sometime. And don't make it six years and a funeral later. Just call me." Emily said as she began to walk away. Her curls bouncing up and down as she left. Casey knew she felt pain. Emily had loved Derek in high school. She'd even heard that they dated for about a month but broke up soon after. Supposedly their chemistry was more friendship then anything else. But when Casey opened the package that night from Emily, she had found Derek's senior yearbook. The book had made Casey laugh. The pictures and the autographs were as hysterical as they could get. Emily had written Derek about the time they had gone out. Casey had not known that they had gone out their __**entire**__ junior and senior year. But when she asked Emily about it weeks later, Emily had just laughed and said, ' Casey we went out so no other girl could ask him out. He didn't want anyone but you! It was just easier to say he had a full time girlfriend and I was the chosen one.'_

_Casey's eyes dropped to Derek's tombstone. She read what it said aloud. "Derek James Venturi. A wonderful son, an outstanding brother, and a loving father. A life taken far too soon." She felt a presence behind her and turned around._

"_He was a wonderful son." Nora said thoughtfully as she smiled at her daughter. Casey's blue eyes looked at her mother through her tears. " And he was always a good brother even though he may have schemed a little too much. All those pranks he played." Her mother laughed full heartedly at that._

_Casey tried to catch her breath through her tears. "Yeah like the time he took all of my clothes and makeup and put them into my locker. So I had to wear his clothes and deodorant." She smiled at the thought of his clothes and smell. But quickly frowned again._

"_Yeah like that honey. And even though you complained and got mad about it, I don't think you detested it as much as you said. Or Leanna wouldn't exist. She has the best parts of you and the best parts of him. The perfect McDonald-Venturi mixture. And he would have been a great father to her. We all know that sweetie. He loved her that week. And that week will be a lifetime to her now."_

"_Yeah but its my fault that they didn't know each other. I probably won't ever get over that. I'll always blame myself for all of this." Casey said sincerely. There was no other way to put it. It was all her fault._

_Nora nodded but not in agreement. "It may feel like your fault but its not. We can't blame ourselves. Casey just promise me that you will raise Leanna the way that will make Derek smile down on you two from heaven." Casey nodded a yes at her mother and Nora smiled. "Good that will make Derek happy to know. I think I'm going to leave you alone here for awhile, but come home soon baby. We need to be together as a family right now." Again Casey nodded as she watched her mother rummage through her purse. She pulled out two objects and placed them in Casey's hands. "And even though Derek is gone, he's still going to get his message across to you." Nora kissed Casey on her forehead and walked away._

_Casey looked down into her hands and saw a white envelope with her name scribbled on it and a blue velvet box. She ripped the letter open and read it._

_**Dear Casey,**_

_**I love you no matter what. I have no excuses for what I did. I can't blame anybody but myself for the awful words that night. But I meant none of it. I love you and Leanna no matter what. I plan on asking you to marry me and even if you say no, I'm not going to go anywhere. I'm going to be by your side everyday and night because I love you so much. So never worry buttercup, wherever you are, I am too.**_

_**Love, **_

_**Derek**_

_Casey's tears began to fall again. He used to call her buttercup back in the day. And through his letter she knew he was always going to be with her because she carried him in her heart. She opened the small box and saw a beautiful diamond ring. She vowed that day to always wear that ring and to never take it off. It was a symbol of there love. But of course she had a much bigger symbol of there love. Leanna. Like her mother said, the best parts of both of them was in her._

Casey was brought out of her daymare by James walking in through the door carrying a bag of groceries in one hand and a one year old Derek James Venturi Kindland in the other. Casey glanced at her hand seeing her wedding set from James even though her hand was still tightly grasped onto Derek's wedding set around her neck.

"Honey are you okay?" James asked concerned. He knew what today was and everything that had happened. That was why he was so understanding when they named their son Derek. Casey had wanted to keep the name Venturi connected to the name so she made it a second middle name.

Casey looked up at him and smiled. "I'm just remembering everything. Its like a nightmare that never ends."

"And Lee? How's she doing this year?" James asked while he placed little Derek in the living room.

"As good as one could possibly do." Casey said as she kissed James on the cheek. Casey had officially put Derek on Leanna's birth certificate and changed her last name to Venturi. And even though her life had not turned out the way they had wanted it to, she knew he was smiling down on them. And that thought always made Casey smile and carry on.

Leanna's voice carried out to them. She was singing the song she had dedicated to her dad. It was When I Get to Heaven and Leanna said that her daddy could hear her when she sang it. It made both Casey and James smile every time they heard her sing it.

la da da da de de de de deThe moment was custom-made to order:I was ridin' with my daughter on our way back from Monroe.An' like children do, she started playin' twenty questions,But I never could of guessed one would touch me to my soul.She said: "Daddy, when we get to Heaven, can I taste the Milky Way?"Are we goin' there to visit, or are we goin' there to stay?"Am I gonna see my Grandpa? Can I have a pair of wings?"An' do you think that God could use another Angel,"To help pour out the rain?"la da da da de de de deWell, I won't lie: I pulled that car right over,An' I sat there on the shoulder tryin' to dry my misty eyes.An' I whispered: "Lord, I wanna thank you for my children."'Cause your innocence that fills them often takes me by surprise."Like: "Daddy, when we get to Heaven, can I taste the Milky Way?"Are we goin' there to visit, or are we goin' there to stay?"Am I gonna see my Grandpa? Can I have a pair of wings?"An' do you think that God could use another Angel,"To help pour out the rain?"Well, I thought about it later on,An' a smile came to my face.An' when I tucked her in to bed,I got down on my knees an' prayed.Lord, when I get to Heaven, can I taste the Milky Way?"I don't wanna come to visit 'cause I'm comin' home to stay?"An' I can't wait to see my family and meet Jesus face to face."An' do you think, Lord, you could use another Angel,"To help pour out the rain?"Mmmm, can I help pour out the rain?can I help pour out the rain?la da da da de de de de

_A/N: Okay well I hope you guys like this ending better. I know, I know, he still dies. But hopefully you like it better! Much Love, LilD_


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